Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Trouble at Home

brittanycubs
brittanycubs
So as far as my past goes my mom was extremely abusive which haunt me everyday. Recently my counselor pointed out that what I am feeling whenever I stay at my house is rage and anger towards everything tht went down in this house. I want to get out of here and even though I would have a place to stay, my parents still cover my medication expenses since I am also schizoaffective it adds up each month. I rely on her financially to help with medical expenses but living in this house is hell. I am very dettached and my dad sees it as me being rude. I've tried to explain what is going on to him and I even went so far to get him the necessary information about my disorders so I can help him understand but he won't listen. He won't look at the information. So now I am further seen as the angry daughter who is rude and acts out. Please help with any advice It would be greatly appreciated.
LeoX3
LeoX3
When you're dealing with that much, I suually advocate removal from a situation, but it's not that easy when you depend on them for medication and/or financial assistance. Is it possible to have your medications covered through any kind of aid programs offered by clinics, pharmaceutical companies, or medicare/aid? I can't think of anything else to suggest. Other than pointing out to your father that what afflicts you is, as far as bipolar or schizoaffective goes, a biochemical issue that's as out of your control as, say, my epilepsy is to me---my brain has some hinky wiring, that's all ther eis to it. I don't choose it.

If you have a counselor/ therapist, do they have any ideas on howt o remove yourself without removing your medication coverage as well?

Wish I could help,
Leo
brittanycubs
brittanycubs
My counselors only recommendation so far is to avoid the situation. She said that right now there is no controlling my anger and rage because any progress I make will be lost when I return home. I try to stay at my bf as much as possible but I don't have a job currently and don't think I would qualify for those programs. This house is toxic and no one in it will listen to my side. I don't know what to do. I feel the urge to cut so strong that I don't think can resist much longer. I just see my moms face and some days its enough to spiral me out of control. The flashbacks make. the pain so much worse. And with life outside my parents and this house going so well the last thing I need is to be admitted someone. I need more than my 1x a week counseling session but money is tight and my mom sees it as a waste of time so i only get 1x a week. Sometimes I feel like chugging all of my meds would end this pain but I want to succeed in life. I have plans beyond this hell hole. It's getting there that is one of the biggest struggles.
LeoX3
LeoX3
OK, first off? Focus on the plans. That got me through. I had my first suicidal thought at age 11 from my home environment, and all that got me through many days was knowing THIS WILL END WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE. I got out, and it did end. (Still got the PTSD but that's a whole other story).

Second, if you have low income, you may actually qualify for assistance more than you realize---it's at least worth asking---and see if there's any free counseling you can get through school or free clinics in your area, or through a church if you belong to one and trust anyonet here....

I wish I could de-toxify that home enivronemnt for you, but in lieu of that? Avoidance is sometimes all we can do until we find a better way.

Hang in there. If a mess like me made it, you sure as heck can!