I have C-ptsd from being in an abusive life threatening relationship with a narcissist. I left him in december 2016 and started working for myself cleaning houses in february 2017. I had surprisingly little anxiety and stress over that job and really enjoyed it for the most part. I made decent money too, but not enough to live comfortably and have financial freedom. The best part about this job was I felt fully in control and rarely had to work around anyone. I also rarely have to work over 6 hours. with most jobs taking 3-5 hours. This helped me manage my symptoms and not feel trapped at work.

I was offered a job by one of my clients to work in her office. It pays well and had more hours and benefits. Many people have been telling me to get a "real job" and I did the math and didnt want to pass up the pay increase. I have been desperate to move out of my house because it is where a lot of the abuse took place and has a TON of triggers for me, but I can't afford to do it. I was hoping that if the new job worked out well for me that I could finally afford to move and get my life back on track.

The first two days of work were Ok, but I noticed many triggers. I also had trouble dealing with being around so many people. Then yesterday (monday) rolled around and I had a bad panic attack when I woke up... this continued until mid afternoon. I tried to tough it out at work but I was miserable. I really like my co workers, I like my job so far, but I can't shake this feeling. I had to call out sick today because I woke up having a panic attack again and barely slept last night.

I want to finally seek out treatment but I'm not sure what to do about the job. Go back in tomorrow and hope for the best? Call in sick again and try to get on medication asap? Or gracefully resign and go back to cleaning houses for less pay but way less stress? I just want so badly to be normal.