Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi All-
I'm new here, although I've been bouncing around on the chronic pain group for a little bit, and I hope that you don't mind me stopping in for some advice.
This past year has been tough for me health-wise, and I've unfortunately had some very traumatic healthcare experiences during my surgeries, recoveries, and hospitalizations. I've discussed my feelings with my PCP and my therapist, and both agree that clinically, I don't have PTSD- nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, etc. I'm very grateful that I don't, and I certainly don't want to trivialize the trauma and PTSD experiences of people on here.
However, there's no denying that my experiences were traumatic. They contributed to the development of a severe phobia, and significantly worsened my anxiety and depression that I get after surgery. I go for stretches without thinking about them, but then I'll get "stuck" in the thoughts and feelings about them every so often. Usually the feelings are a sort of helplessness and anger.
My question to you all, if this happens to you, is how you try to deal with it? I honestly can't tell if I should use my coping mechanisms to redirect my thinking and not focus on it (like if it were a negative thought pattern), or if I should sit with the feelings and try to let some of the "ugliness" seep away. Hope that makes some sort of sense.
Thanks for any advice you can give!
-CTP
I had back surgery. It took 2 and a half years to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for my condition because the problem didn't show up on xrays or mri until it got worse. During that time I had a doc prescribe me a pain medication that she shouldn't have because it interacted with one I was on.
My other doc caught it. I had involuntary jerky movements. I called my psych doc, thinking it may be a new weird anxiety response. He said loudly on the phone, "Stop taking it now. You have Serotonin Syndrome. It will cause a seizure and kill you." I stopped it.
And the doc that wrongly prescribed the other med to me? She said, "Oh, good. I'm glad it caught it" as casually as saying "have a nice day." Not a fan of doctors anymore. And that whole time period was very traumatic on many levels.
I use yogic breathing and grounding for C-PTSD. I smell a bottle of tea tree oil which is pretty potent, to snap me back before I dissociate too much (space out and feel numb). I also found a helpful exercise where you breath deeply through your stomach and then keep breathing through your heart (chest) and then relax. I do this for 20-30 minutes.
I hope health wise you are doing better.
Your question made a lot of sense to me, and I can relate. Speaking for myself, it depends on the severity of the panic these thoughts bring me. If I'm not completely overwhelmed, I believe in sitting with it, allowing myself to feel and recognizing why I am feeling the way I am.
If it's a really horrible one, then I will jump in my car and go for a drive, or walk on the beach or in the woods. Basic distraction techniques, but it works for me a lot of the time.
Jeez....now I'm wondering if my reply makes any sense. heheh
I think it makes sense that if I'm feeling okay that day to "sit with it" and let myself feel it, but on other days when I'm more sore or anxious to maybe redirect my thoughts elsewhere. <3
@ellidee you're definitely not the only one, and I'm here if you ever need to vent!
http://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
I'm not sure if what I get is a flashback- I don't feel/hear/visualize the experiences, but it's almost like I ruminate on them. I start thinking along the lines of "Wow, that was really awful" and then I feel like it should have been acknowledged that the experiences were so horrible. Acknowledged by whom, I'm not sure. But that's kind of what I get stuck on. Sorry if that doesn't make much sense!
I think there are times when we have to pick ourselves up and move forward and there are times when we have to give the feelings a voice. Writing about what happened to you, letting the tears fall, talking to a TRUSTED person about it...these can all help when you are really feeling overwhelmed. I think we live in a culture that often minimizes feelings and their value. Sometimes feeling them is the only way past the pain.
Don't forget to be good to yourself, it is soooo important even when you don't feel like doing it. I made a recent promise to myself that I was no longer going to talk badly about myself, to myself. Know what I mean? I say things to myself and judge myself in ways I would never judge others. Now that I am being a little kinder to myself I feel better...x0
Khadi I appreciate the advice. I was never quite sure if my experiences were "bad enough" to "qualify" me as having PTSD, if that makes any sense. I think you hit the nail on the head about a culture that minimizes feelings, and soulsearcher also made a similar point above. It was after one of my worst experiences to date- I had surgery, ended up in the ER for issues recovering from anesthesia, and had allergic reactions to medications that literally made me want to die. My surgeon and his staff knew I was in the hospital, but none checked in on me. I finally followed up with him a week after the hospital visit, and was floored that he discussed it in such a dismissive way. An event that was so awful for me was so inconsequential for him. My feelings weren't relevant to the physical outcome/recovery from surgery, so he didn't want to talk about them.