Just wanted to say that we in this head feel tapped out right now. Mr Crazypants has been having another episode, he's getting over it, but it's hard to stay off that rollercoaster when someone I care about deeply is in pain and is a threat to himself. I do really try to remain calm and positive.

Girlfriend and I had an argument that she didn't realize was an argument because I don't shout. Maybe I should have given into the urge to start punching myself in the face in the car. I was so mad that I was shaking and hallucinating...and I guess she did not realize that.

We went to her place, and I drank a glass of booze, then collapsed in her bed, went to sleep. When I got up to leave this morning, I found out she was very hurt because I didn't have sex with her last night like I said I'd try to. I said I was wiped after the argument, she said " we argued?"

Things are rough right now. I'm going to sleep some more.