Hi....

I have gone through similar things in therapy. My head seemed clearer, and my memory improved...but for me it seems like a good thing.

What about it makes you feel that it's a bad thing?

I guess it's just that I miss the way I felt before all this happened (got a blood clot in my brain due to pregnancy)...and when things are unfamiliar to me it's scary. So for example...I never get sore throats when I get a cold, and low and behold my throat has been really sore -- so of course now I think that I have throat cancer and am going to die. This is just how I view every little thing that happens to me.

I do that too at times. I think Im going to die. Then I try to asure myself that maybe its a good thing if I do die. Not saying that you ought to feel that way. You have a baby. None of us unforunitly have any clue as to when or how we are going to die. It could come at a opertune time or a non opertune time. You need to take steps to be healthy now, be careful today. And if you should die tomarrow or soon know where you are going ie heaven or hell. Assure yourself a place in good standing in which ever institution you wish to subscribe to. "We do not know when or how or who the bell tolls... It tolls for thee." or something like that. Be ready prepare write a will, leave a note, tell your nearest and dearest what your wishes are or you could wind up like Terry Schivo, boy her family went through years of litigation over her. Good luck and God Bless

It's a "normal" symptom of PTSD. :-)

The feeling that a person won't live long, or that something bad will happen is part of the anxiety, and is actually one of the questions on the PTSD screen to diagnose PTSD.

Hopefully, just knowing that you're not alone with this symptom will help a little bit. As for getting past that anxiety, do you have a good therapist who's trained in trauma recovery? It can be a huge help. Mine also helped me find a primary care physician that she had good rapport with, so when I was worried about something, all three of us were able to consult together, which put my mind at ease.

There's no going back to the way things were before, but there's a way to change your reactions and create a different future. That's what we're all working on here. Join us for the journey. :-)

Blessings,
Wistala

Wistala is so right -- we're all changed. We cannot go back to whom we were before our traumas, but.... We can go forward. We have choices: are we going to continue looking back or are we going to create a better future? My trauma was medical, too. For 25 years I lived with chronic undiagnosed PTSD and this HUGE fear that my body would betray me again. What you're feeling is completely normal. It's also controllable and treatable. A good trauma therapist will help if he/she knows CBT and information processing techniques. Those all abated my symptoms. Ultimately, hypnotherapy helped me become who I am today: 100% PTSD. It can be done if we work hard enough. :)