I couldn't let your post go unanswered.

I have not have the same experiences as you have, but I do understand what you mean by not being able to let it go. In fact I do not believe that it is necessary to let it go. I found a way to move forward in spite of not forgetting and not letting it go.

I just wanted to let you know that someone was listening and that someone cares. I am sorry that you were put through that abuse. Your exhusband should have to experience worse as his punishment.

Gentle hugs.

I have a lot of anger because of things that were done to me, and there's no way I'm forgiving anyone or "letting my anger go".

I don't think we have to do that to heal. I'm trying to remember what happened to me, not forget it. I don't think there's any scientific evidence for this theory that a person has to forgive those who abused them in order to go on with their lives.

I fight the bad emotions and the self-destructive urges and resolve to be strong. I hope you can find a way to deal with your memories and find some peace of mind. You are not alone. Don't give up on yourself, not ever.

For a brief time I cut myself also. At the time it relieved my pain but I always felt so bad after. You know you are a worth while person and you did not deserve what happened to you. It must be difficult to trust people. Do you have a support network in place, friends or family? Do you have a counsellor? Do you take meds?

I think it is important for you to take one day at a time. When you feel like cutting yourself you need to use distraction, call someone or go to the hospital. It is important you seek help if you have not already done so.

Painting may be a good outlet for you. Paint something, anything and if you don't like it rip it up instead of you. Please try another method of coping with your incredible pain. You current method of cutting yourself will not help you.

I've been through unspeakable things myself. Just once I wish those that tell us to get over it or let it go could undergo just 10 minutes of my life. Maybe they;d understand. Not what some book tells them they;re supposed to say.

I am so sorry you are going through that. I wish there was something I could say to help. I did want you to know I am here and listening to you and wanted you to know you are not alone.

Hello Countresss, Your are a Great Person & No, I haven't been through the same things as You have but We all got Our Demons. The Demons for Me are the Ones Whom abused Me. You deserve to Love Yourself & don't let Your Ex - Husband be Your abuser & stop being His Victim. It will take sometime to get through this. I pray that You can get Counseling ( it helps to talk ) Meds to Help with the Stress, Anxiety & Depression or whatever is Needed. I am also Here for You. God will make sure He gets His.

Hey -

I used to cut myself and whip myself with metal coat hangers. I know what it feels like to want to tear yourself to shreds. Although now, even though I am still tempted sometimes, I haven't cut in almost ten years.

At one point I heard that physical releases chemical signals in the brain that dull pain. I realized that I was cutting to intentionally release those chemicals and feel relief from the unbearable emotional pain. But cutting is destructive - not just because of the scars, but because (at least for me) I always hid the cuts and scars and it made me feel alienated from others - the exact opposite of what I needed to heal.

Now I focus on other ways of releasing those natural brain chemicals that make us feel better - I'll go for a bike ride, exercise, scream, cry, or ask someone for a hug. I'll acknowledge the fact that I feel crappy and that it's okay to feel that way. I'm now gentle with myself.

I hope you find some measures of healing and comfort. You did not deserve to be abused and you do deserve to life a healthy, peaceful life.

At one point I heard that physical *INJURY* releases chemical signals

I am so sorry for all you went through. People are always teling me to "let it go"; "move on"; etc. My family does not want me to ever discuss anything to do with the past. They have moved on and let it go; "what is wrong with me"? I have tried everything I can think of to recover from all the abuse; nothing has worked. Why would someone choose to suffer? Wouldn't all of us "move on"; if we could? I just keep working on finding what triggers me and finding ways to heal myself. Best wished to you.

So far as I can tell, extreme repression and denial are the nearest we get to come to "...just letting it go." it is how my siblings "moved on" from our incest traumas and it appears that they are only proving the cliche that we are doomed to repeat what we work to forget.

Keep venting, Countress. Bringing this garbage out of the stinking, disease infested closet is the first step toward healing.

May you find the healing touch.

I am living with some things I can't think of without tears and pain, but all I have weathered is nothing compared to what I am hearing from you.
I hope we can all find the healing we need and deserve.