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I am not certain, but I believe my wounded sparrow told me her name is Chirpcha. She sits with me during this morning's inventory. Again, she sends her regards.
I am beginning to calm as I look upon the phantom demon eyes. I can never know for certain, but I believe the demon eyes are a child's memory. Perhaps. In this, I believe, certainty is for fools.
I am feeling the deeply conditioned urge to force it to certainty. Drag out the Inquisitional Prerogatives! Who! When! Where! Why! Inquiring minds need to KNOW! Keep to the facts!
A quiet, unprovable voice whispers that when memory functions begin to heal, they are as weak and unreliable as a wing recovering from multiple fractures. They are not ready to soar on the Winds of Why. Go dig in the dirt a while.
And it is, in current fact, a beautiful day for gardening in Central Texas.
I am beginning to calm as I look upon the phantom demon eyes. I can never know for certain, but I believe the demon eyes are a child's memory. Perhaps. In this, I believe, certainty is for fools.
I am feeling the deeply conditioned urge to force it to certainty. Drag out the Inquisitional Prerogatives! Who! When! Where! Why! Inquiring minds need to KNOW! Keep to the facts!
A quiet, unprovable voice whispers that when memory functions begin to heal, they are as weak and unreliable as a wing recovering from multiple fractures. They are not ready to soar on the Winds of Why. Go dig in the dirt a while.
And it is, in current fact, a beautiful day for gardening in Central Texas.
Ultimately to me it seems the only question we can answer is 'what next'.
The why question can turn into that black hole of looking for rational explanation that slides too easily in to victim blaming (and I remember you describing yourself months ago as a "throwaway child").
Heck, at this point I don't want to hold on to thoughts even of perpetrator blaming (though in my case one is currently still awaiting a death sentence trial).
Enjoy your birds, and look for new life in your day. The only thing that will suffice will be to find a way to live in the present.