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It went well as far as my answering questions went. Every member of the tenure committee had a negative student comment from one of my evaluations. Each one brought up the example they had picked. I answered each one as to what I had done to help the student or what I would do differently next time.
It seemed as if I had satisfied all the committee members' questions. However, at the very end of the meeting, the most senior member of the committee spoke up. She said that her reading of my evaluations over the past 5 years was that they got worse, not better. Even though they never dropped below 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being the best) she said that she saw a pattern of declining scores as to how students rated my teaching.
That was discouraging, especially since instead I see maintaining an average score of 4 out of 5 for 5 years as good. I guess now I wish I hadn't done so well 5 years ago so it wouldn't overshadow how I'm doing this year.
Hers was the last word in the meeting, so I think it is the last word on my case for tenure. After she said that, the head of the committee asked if I had any final words. All I could say was that, whatever happens, I was thankful for the last five years of teaching there. It certainly felt like goodbye.
So that's it. I'm now going through the five stages of grief over the possible loss of this job. I have anxiety, as you can imagine. I thought the committee was going to get back to me soon. At the meeting's end, though, they said that they wouldn't tell me whether I keep my job or not until April 10th. For me, that's a long time to have my future's fate in the balance. I'm anxious and grieving.
It seemed as if I had satisfied all the committee members' questions. However, at the very end of the meeting, the most senior member of the committee spoke up. She said that her reading of my evaluations over the past 5 years was that they got worse, not better. Even though they never dropped below 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being the best) she said that she saw a pattern of declining scores as to how students rated my teaching.
That was discouraging, especially since instead I see maintaining an average score of 4 out of 5 for 5 years as good. I guess now I wish I hadn't done so well 5 years ago so it wouldn't overshadow how I'm doing this year.
Hers was the last word in the meeting, so I think it is the last word on my case for tenure. After she said that, the head of the committee asked if I had any final words. All I could say was that, whatever happens, I was thankful for the last five years of teaching there. It certainly felt like goodbye.
So that's it. I'm now going through the five stages of grief over the possible loss of this job. I have anxiety, as you can imagine. I thought the committee was going to get back to me soon. At the meeting's end, though, they said that they wouldn't tell me whether I keep my job or not until April 10th. For me, that's a long time to have my future's fate in the balance. I'm anxious and grieving.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Ugh.
So sorry, Muji.
But -- really objectively, here -- can your union rep access the data about everybody's evaluation scores over the same 5yr period ??
Tons of factors go into scores like that.
If everybody else was -- in aggregate -- flat or declining, then it's hard to fairly single out you for a very minor decline.
In my last job, we did customer satisfaction surveys -- 1 to 5.
We used a "top two box --" the percent of respondents who gave our product/service/company either a 4 OR a 5 -- to measure how we were doing.
I'm so sorry that you're feeling grief sweetie... You are a wonderful human being ...And I agree with dragon that there is a reason for things.. Big hug for you and a blessing...xo
But getting support letters now is a good step in preparation.
PS MI is hiring!
I'm trying on approaches with which to accept the message at the meeting's end. That's when the most senior committee member said that my evaluation numbers have been going down since 2011. Even if I can argue back that the decline was within a small range in which they stayed high, it might be a sign of burnout, right? With me becoming a cranky old professor to a consistent minority of my students.
It's hard to teach 5 death and dying classes every year, and maybe I do need a break from it. True, there are better ways to do that, like rotate me through teaching other courses. But that didn't happen, so the break comes this way.
This is me trying to get to acceptance through Kubler Ross's five stages of grief to prepare myself if I hear it's goodbye on April 10th. I hope atec is right. Thanks, atec! But it's a long time to wait, so I feel like being prepared for the worst as emotional insurance.
So this approach says that maybe this is a break, huh? Well, if I don't get tenure April 10th let's just hope I get another job and a break, too, then. I applied for one already today as soon as I could. If that's what I'm supposed to do next, I hope I can maintain the discipline to keep it up.
Working through the stages and looking for the silver lining.
I like David's idea and it is a very interesting question: what were the average ratings of others who received tenure, including the beastly individuals who worked to deny you tenure?
Big hug to you
I have been doing some work around the story and it is surprising the amount of worrying I do without having all the facts.. One day at a time my friend. Take the events as they come, one by one.
((hugs))
I am sorry the tenure meeting didn't go as well as you had hoped it would. I'll be sending positive thoughts and support your way.