Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I spent a very long day yesterday with my daughter while we took my horse to a farrier school to address his lameness issue. It is cheap. It allows me to afford care I otherwise could not do... but as it is done by students with a master farrier watch (and fixing) it takes FOREVER.
Add to that the school is next to my house - and the horses are an hour drive away, it meant we started the day by waking up at 5:30 am to be there before 9:30 am. Did I mention a long day? We loaded the horses at 3 pm to leave the school and got home at just about 6 pm. OMG long day, sitting in a large drafty building in layers of cloths shivering every time someone opened a door with a high of 42 degrees yesterday.
We had lots of time to talk. She was talking about how I have instilled in her difference values that most people her age have. She did not come from a broken home, but a loving one. She was taught that for a friend you do backflips to help - period, end of sentence. Knowing this, a 'friend' decided on Wednesday that driving extra people to a wedding of a friend on Sat (today) was too much trouble and that my daughter should do it instead. As they are her friends too, of course she is doing it - but really not happy at the friend who just dropped this on her.
We got to talking about why she has these values, where I got them from, etc...
We sort of worked out that my 'would be' hippy mom was the source of them. Yet my siblings never gave this idea more than lip service. It is LAW in our house.
Looking a bit deeper, my dad was an SOB who drank and would 'accidentally' put my mother and sisters in the hospital... but never me. Though I watched in horror him going after everyone else, he protected me. While everyone else was afraid of him, we spent my childhood going horseback riding, movies, car and airplane shows.
Also looking behind, my mother, though she did not raise a hand, tormented the three of us kids. Nothing was good enough, nothing could change things, it is best to just hate men and go on your own. I was more afraid of her than my dad.
The way things worked out, my dad helped me be set up in my own apt when I was 15 while people would stop by once a week to give me grocery money and hang for a day or so. If effect, he secluded me away from the drama and pain that was my family.
It has been mentioned that of the three sisters, I was the only one who turned out functional...
My oldest sister drank herself to death rather than be divorced by her abusive husband.
The middle daughter, at 48, still lives at home, having had three kids, never yet having held a job, finished High School, or getting a driver's license.
I have a loving husband, a house (even if it is full of black mold) a great daughter, and I was a functional member of society before pain from my crushed spine took away my life.
For me at least - my dad was not so bad, and he saved me by placing me mostly out of reach of my mother.
Add to that the school is next to my house - and the horses are an hour drive away, it meant we started the day by waking up at 5:30 am to be there before 9:30 am. Did I mention a long day? We loaded the horses at 3 pm to leave the school and got home at just about 6 pm. OMG long day, sitting in a large drafty building in layers of cloths shivering every time someone opened a door with a high of 42 degrees yesterday.
We had lots of time to talk. She was talking about how I have instilled in her difference values that most people her age have. She did not come from a broken home, but a loving one. She was taught that for a friend you do backflips to help - period, end of sentence. Knowing this, a 'friend' decided on Wednesday that driving extra people to a wedding of a friend on Sat (today) was too much trouble and that my daughter should do it instead. As they are her friends too, of course she is doing it - but really not happy at the friend who just dropped this on her.
We got to talking about why she has these values, where I got them from, etc...
We sort of worked out that my 'would be' hippy mom was the source of them. Yet my siblings never gave this idea more than lip service. It is LAW in our house.
Looking a bit deeper, my dad was an SOB who drank and would 'accidentally' put my mother and sisters in the hospital... but never me. Though I watched in horror him going after everyone else, he protected me. While everyone else was afraid of him, we spent my childhood going horseback riding, movies, car and airplane shows.
Also looking behind, my mother, though she did not raise a hand, tormented the three of us kids. Nothing was good enough, nothing could change things, it is best to just hate men and go on your own. I was more afraid of her than my dad.
The way things worked out, my dad helped me be set up in my own apt when I was 15 while people would stop by once a week to give me grocery money and hang for a day or so. If effect, he secluded me away from the drama and pain that was my family.
It has been mentioned that of the three sisters, I was the only one who turned out functional...
My oldest sister drank herself to death rather than be divorced by her abusive husband.
The middle daughter, at 48, still lives at home, having had three kids, never yet having held a job, finished High School, or getting a driver's license.
I have a loving husband, a house (even if it is full of black mold) a great daughter, and I was a functional member of society before pain from my crushed spine took away my life.
For me at least - my dad was not so bad, and he saved me by placing me mostly out of reach of my mother.
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