Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
As those of you who know me are aware, as a missionary kid from ages 9-15 I survived Uruguay's 6 year civil war in my hometown of Montevideo. I am, therefore, a civilian combat veteran.
1. My car with my family and me inside of it was hit by a bomb when I was 9. We had gone out for ice cream. When I was 10 a university student was shot and killed while he stood next to me. My dad had taken me along downtown to the bank.
2. When I was 11 a 2 story building I was about to enter was bombed and pancaked to the ground, killing those within it. I was going to the bowling alley on its first floor.
3. When I was 12 the two sides fighting each other in the civil war had their biggest gun battle on my own street where I lived, with soldiers sticking their rifles out of my second story bedroom window with me there.
You get the idea. Just eating ice cream, going to the bank, and going bowling became life and death traumas for me by age 12. Then all of that went on for 3 years more until I was 15.
Since my young brain was still developing from ages 9-15, PTSD got hardwired into my brain's development. I went to the USA for college at age 17, but by then combat PTSD was baked into my brain, and I started seeing my first therapist for it, PTSD therapy I've continued for life and my current age of 63.
I have flashbacks for sure every week, but there are days during a week when I don't. Today is not one of those days. Since I survived bombings, it's triggering me that some neighbor in my nice suburban neighborhood is setting off fireworks today. I get set for them on days like New Year's Eve, but today's not any holiday, so I wasn't ready for them.
I'm having the usual flashback symptoms of startle responses, my skin crawling, a chill going down my spine, trembling, having a knot in my gut, getting extra tired from being hypervigilant, hyperventilating, ringing in my ears, and a weird tunnel vision from my eyes.
These PTSD flashback symptoms have happened to me three times today, and it's only a half hour after noon. It looks like it's going to be one of those days, if you know what I mean. Support welcome to help me get through it. I'd like to leave the house this Saturday. I had plans with friends, and it's hard to socialize when you're in a flashback episode. So that's what support is welcome for--for me to be able to function the rest of today. Thank you.
(And as I sign off there go some more triggering exploding fireworks again. Sigh).
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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Just remember that you re always with friends ---- here, and in spirit. We're with you, okay? And if you can? Earmuffs! Socks rolled up make good ones in a pinch. (I hold them on with my hands, to be honest, but I'm sure you can find something smarter.)
Gentle puma power and healing.
I am so sorry.
That sounds positively hellish.
i know how much of your power those terrible flashbacks try to steal away from you, but you are so strong,little Muji was strong.
I will be praying for peace for you.
I hope those fireworks stop and I hope you feel grounded enough to enjoy time with your friends.
Much support & safe gentle hugs
Ay, I’m so sorry, I empathize & what you mean about that how it hit you being unexpected.
Last week I had something happen that was unexpected that really triggered some stuff. I know you know parts of my story, so I won’t explain too much. But since I’ve had to grow up in areas with gang violence & other related violence my experience with surviving shootings & some other stuff like that I’m not going to go to much into but I understand with those triggering noises.
But anyways, you know how sometimes if you get a box delivered to you sometimes depending on what’s in the box they will put those bags with air in them to protect what’s in the package.
So it was like 3am & I couldn’t sleep anyways so I decided to go put out the garbage & take care of some stuff. I went into this area like it’s this little room that is kinda inside/ outside that leads to the door outside ( it’s where I put the garbages & recycling each week before i put it out). That room is pretty dark at 3am even with the little lightbulb. So anyways I go walk out the door into that room & didn’t realize that I left one of those box airbag inside things on the floor & close to the door. So rite as I walked out the door into that room I accidentally stepped onto one of those air bags & it popped it was so loud! It echoed for some reason being in that cold little room so it was just so loud, & it being so dark in there & 3am, I didn’t even realize at first what was going on, that it was that that I had stepped on & it sounded exactly like a gun shot in the back in my head. I came back inside shaking & I don’t even know & tried really really hard to bring myself back to the here & now. But same thing like you are talking about here I went through for a number of days after. The minute I heard that noise, that ringing started in my ears. I’m sorry I hope I didn’t ramble too much or in trying to let you know I can relate I hope I didn’t trigger you. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
I hope you start feeling a little better soon. I will lite a candle for you
Gentlest of hugs <3
Lisa