Stockholm syndrome is empathizing with your abuser....They've broken you down and also made you dependent on them so abusers can often show a 'kind side' or a honeymoon phase between the abuse

Patti Hurst made this term famous in the western world when after she was kidnapped she helped the people who kidnapped her rob a bank

She did this due to being broken down by them systematically and being shown small acts of kindness in between the cruelty ... She was dependent on them as they held her prisoner and soon started to identify with them... I don't think it takes long for the phenomenon to start to take place

Big hug...x

The Hearst case did popularize the term, but getting two psych docs to agree on it is difficult. One therapist I saw insisted my low self-esteem showed that I'd been "stockholmed", doing what they wanted b/c it was (fill in blank).... And it can, in extreme stress, take mere hours if the perpetrator is a skilled manipulator.

For me, SS is a form of survival. It's a way to make it through. I think my sis was fairly well brainwashed by our dad. She became him. It helped her get less hurt and she participated in hurting others.

ALl that said, it's not automatic that you're idneitfying withyour abuser beause you feel like a bad person. Everyone feels like that at some point---as if we were "bad" or we wouldn't have been hurt. And I think many of us worry we'll become the people who hurt us. I sure do.

BTW, if your abuse came at night? It is logical to be afraid at night. Show me an MRI machine, I flip out. I was hurt in one. It's actually pretty normal aversion response.

I'm just tired of crying and waking up being afraid. I try to talk to my mom but she doesnt understand, I dont blame her. she says it's getting old me being like this I cant help it. Like right now I'm in tears because I cant remember the night before last night and i'm freaking out. I want a normal life without having to worry about this. My mom says that I should want to be happy, and i do but I have this stuff going on in my head that wont leave me alone. before my abuse I was a good person was highly functional and lived a normal life. now it's like every day i live in dread because I'm worried about what I may have or may have not done.

It's essentially empathizing with an abuser... Feeling close to an abuser

Here's some info on it....Big hug Happy


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome