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I wish I could be a stand up comedian.
The best comedians use examples from life and build an entire story. Making millions of people laugh. And the good ones make millions of dollars doing it.
But what would my joke be?
"Yeah, I'm really pissed off you see. Because, I can't say, "My dad's was a dick."
Ha, Ha, Ha, because, he molested me and I used to suck his...
Doh!
Best I can come up with is: FUCK HEAD
Oops, he fucked me too. So that one is out.
Shit, what can I call a Bastard (He was born out of wedlock too) that fucked and raped and tortured and shared and beat and sodimized and shared and photographed and forced and made movies and shared some more and whipped and ejaculated on and ejaculated in and pissed on and more I can't even remember.
dickwad
fucktard
assface
shit head
piss off
fucker
fuck head
It seams all the good ones - can't be used.
God damn son-of-a-bitch (didn't know mom was so right when I was younger) might work.
Then I could launch into the story of how I learned the phrase, "God Damn Son-of-a-Bitch and what it meant.
You know I love my mommy, But she was a piece of work herself. She was angry and very strict.
I had a friend recently tell me that she was a single black woman raising a son and that is one strict woman. You don't want that.
My mom must have learned from her.
No back talk or BAM you were hit in the mouth with the back of her hand. Making a mistake around her sucked.
and after that story maybe another anecdote from my past.
Really I gotta laugh occasionally at how utterly absurd my child hood was.
There just has to be a comedy routine in there somewhere...
The best comedians use examples from life and build an entire story. Making millions of people laugh. And the good ones make millions of dollars doing it.
But what would my joke be?
"Yeah, I'm really pissed off you see. Because, I can't say, "My dad's was a dick."
Ha, Ha, Ha, because, he molested me and I used to suck his...
Doh!
Best I can come up with is: FUCK HEAD
Oops, he fucked me too. So that one is out.
Shit, what can I call a Bastard (He was born out of wedlock too) that fucked and raped and tortured and shared and beat and sodimized and shared and photographed and forced and made movies and shared some more and whipped and ejaculated on and ejaculated in and pissed on and more I can't even remember.
dickwad
fucktard
assface
shit head
piss off
fucker
fuck head
It seams all the good ones - can't be used.
God damn son-of-a-bitch (didn't know mom was so right when I was younger) might work.
Then I could launch into the story of how I learned the phrase, "God Damn Son-of-a-Bitch and what it meant.
You know I love my mommy, But she was a piece of work herself. She was angry and very strict.
I had a friend recently tell me that she was a single black woman raising a son and that is one strict woman. You don't want that.
My mom must have learned from her.
No back talk or BAM you were hit in the mouth with the back of her hand. Making a mistake around her sucked.
and after that story maybe another anecdote from my past.
Really I gotta laugh occasionally at how utterly absurd my child hood was.
There just has to be a comedy routine in there somewhere...
Have to think on that.
Wanker (UK)
Arsehole (always worse than just plai a-hole)
Prat (also UK)
(phoenetically: ga(h)n-DO, don't ask, it won't translate well out of whatever language it was anyway)
another phoenetic b/c Englihs lacks the letters: (j)Zhopa (also a-hole but somehow more satisfying) and the (j) is because the way it's spelled is a sort of djz sound altogether (Slavic origin)
mentula (Latin for di*k)
culleolus (Latin for walnut balls, as in small withered testicles, as in insulting)
cabron (Spasnih)
Not to say that I use these words (ahem) or more, but these came to mind immediately.
I can, when provoked, cuss in six languages all in a breath, but today ain't my day for it, sorry.