Marah, many of us here have fallen into that same pit of hopelessness. I don't think you are done, but I do know that is how you are feeling. Today you cannot see any solutions, but there will be. I have listened to you for a long stretch here on DS, so that is one person who has heard you. The longest journey begins with the first step. You have taken some steps already. If we slip down a bit, we can start again, but first some rest. Comforting hugs..

You are heard.
The how sometimes takes awhile to figure out, especially the how to make a start in small enough steps to conquer.
Even that is made harder by the flashes of the past and the confusion they bring.

Here listening.

J.

Thank you

You are heard! Sending you loving and healing energy today!

The best thing about DS PTSD for me is being witnessed. Having written evidence I can see with my own two eyes that I was heard. For me, raised as I was to be invisible and to have my story erased over and over by revisionist abusers, it's half the battle. It's strange to me how it energizes me when I have nothing left in the tank.

That just happened this past week when I got to being energy depleted in my offline life. I got a witness, I got affirmed and validated. Not even encouraged; in fact, what was affirmed and validated was just how depleted I was. Yet that very affirmation of that ugly fact turned to hope for me--from where I do not know. All I care about was that hope came, and it came from my speaking up about how depleted I was.

I hope it works that way for you, Marah. I wish I could guarantee that it would, I wish I knew how it worked when it does so I could engineer it, but I can't. I can only share this week's latest testimony in my own life about it with you and hope it extends to your life, too. It's a great first step that you posted here about it so that witness could come back to you in turn. Sending you support today!