Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Thank you all for the compassionate support during the crisis of losing my youngest son (36) and his wife in a fatal wreck last Saturday afternoon and the trials of taking on the 3 young orphans (6, 3 and infant) they left behind. The funeral services are Monday and Tuesday. ^It^ remains a rough ride. Prayers (by whatever name) and support both needed and appreciated.
The children were in court ordered protective custody at the time of the accident. The extent of the parental mental illness was severe enough that the family court put termination of parental rights on the table during the last court review back in July. Their love and devotion for their children was not in question. The question was whether they could put parenting over their self-absorbed romantic inclinations. Babies don't care "Who is Right." and dinner cannot wait until the end of the Battle of the Sexes. Keep your romantic wars to yourself, Mom and Dad. The world is bigger than what is in your underpants. Snicker them nickers and get the job done. Baby needs clean floors to play on.
Over the course of this long, hard ride, I found myself triggering like the beaten crazy bitch wolf I am over my participation here in this forum. The triggering reached a level where I left the forum to get it off my DS newsfeed. 'Tis not the first time I have experienced this effect in my 40 odd years of recovering from my birth into the tragic world of child sex trafficking and pornography. 'Tis my therapy acquired habit to let the mystery be and let it reveal in its own time and space. It is still too early for certainty, but this post is a test to see if that mystery has revealed over the course of writing my son's obituary. The cacoon of chrysallis may have popped this morning as I pondered today's reading from "Meditations For People Who Worry."
Worry gives small things big shadows. ~Swedish Proverb
PTSD is only one of the psycho snot knots on my psychotic smorgasbord. It is but one of the side effects from the horrific world of child sex trafficking. Sorting the yaddahs from the blahs is no small feat. I am wondering if the specialized authority of the newly emerged PTSD mainstream has been giving big shadows to small things while the big things have ample room to hide in the big shadows of small things.
Just wondering. . . I am far from certain that I am not *just* sliding into the whirling drain of psychosis once more.
Thoughts? Reality checks? Off-topic digressions?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Small things creating big shadows. I think you are right. There are some, there must be, that truly do not have PTSD but they use it like a crux to explain away other defects. I know about the knot of PTSD and I know that I will never stop remembering and reliving. The TDoc is on a mission to talk it to death or at least to a whimpering mass in the corner that I can ignore. I saw sex trafficking overseas. Authorities did nothing because they were being paid and there are places that God does not see. Most were promised a good life and then shown the hell of prostitution. I am glad that you are out and are finding a way to heal.
Again, sorry for your loss.
Can you tell us some of the good stories of your son?
It breaks my heart to insist you have seen child prostitution, etc., my friend, right here in the most socially secure Nations on Earth. The world's oldest profession, and all that global debate. It *just* wasnae being advertised as such. The victims who wear the badge on their foreheads seldom reach age 30. Of those few, fewer still meet old age with the dignity of compassion. The debate still rages, but I increasingly believe my 1974 "Hawkeye" was right to declare me a victim of the other undeclared war on the world's city streets.
I am far less confident of the dogma which has evolved since PTSD became a household acronym at the turn of the millennium. Can we really trust dogma that evolved in less than 20 years? For sure, I am finding it somewhere between difficult and impossible to translate those 1974 conversations with "Hawkeye" into the 21st century I/Smart Phone dialects.
Dogma, by its definition, is stagnant. It allows no insight, evolution, or evaluation, just adherence. I guess that defines the DSM V. Its what is taught and then inflicted upon us. Humans and the human psyche can not be categorized into neat little columns. We are all grey.
The child prostitution I saw was overseas in the lands of Arabia. Generally, it was girls and boys from about twelve and up. You couldn't say or do anything as it was against the treaty with that country. They made show arrests, but nothing changed. The family dog is treated better than women. I am glad that I am home and will never set foot over there again. Got offered a contractor job right when I retired for a whole lot of money, would triple what I was making as a senior officer in the military. Told them to pound sand. There is a lot of that over there.
What is your opinion on legalization? Protection, better healthcare, safe environment. Seems to work in Germany and France. Have not seen any data on the reduction of extra-legal work or if it reduced human-trafficking. I hope this is not a trigger. If so please forgive.
I myself am at the same place you are when you wrote here: " 'Tis my therapy acquired habit to let the mystery be and let it reveal in its own time and space. It is still too early for certainty," In the meantime, we hang on to each other here as each next step has to be taken. The obituary you mention, the funeral, the guardianship process with the kids, step by step. We're with you each step here, arfie.
Have you ever read it Arf?
My prayers are for you and your family sweetie ….. Another hug my friend......xo
Sigh. . . Insert Pete Seegar here.
Old age is golden, or so I've heard said
But sometimes I wonder as I crawl into bed
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup
My eyes on the table until I wake up
As sleep dims my vision, I say to myself
Is there anything more I should lay on the shelf
From Nixon to Trump Man, I surely am vexed
But I'll still stick around to see what happens next.
All aboard the geezer train. . .
Beaten crazy bitch wolf on the run. . . Do not attempt to apprehend without backup. . .
You are holding your own, and holding up many others, during this time. You will hold yourself together. You will do what is necessary as you grieve and take care of the little ones. Your strength is a thing to behold. All the support and prayers you can hope for coming at you. Comforting hugs.