Please be careful talking about the actual events as it could trigger you. Remember you have the tools in place to deal with those triggers if that does happen. It might actually be good to talk about it and get it out there. My therapist says right now I should not talk about my trauma because it keeps the wound open and keeps me triggered. She says after my therapy is done, it will be ok, because my brain will have formed new pathways which will basically say " oh that is not such a big deal, I have dealt with that already it is no longer shocking to me". While you might be ready to talk, please make sure you are ready for the reactions of your audience. Their shock and horror my effect you more than you had thought it would.

Good luck

what I have do before I spoke is that you can practise with a friend beforehand ,one that could possible go with you, that way you can see if certain parts of your talk is going to cause you difficulty, then you could either skip that part or perhaps not go into that much detail at that section. During speech if your finding yourself in trouble, only focus on your friend. I told my friend if they saw me staring at them only, I'm having trouble and to make some funny faces at me. It worked for me,that little jolt of silliness snapped me out of that struggle.
Dang there's a few other things that evading my mind right now
Afterwards is the hard part I found since people tend to swarm/surround you, to thank and ask questions. find a table thats against the wall that you can stand beside, you'll have the wall and one side where no one will be, giving you a better feeling of having some space (they can't surround you then). That's all this uncooperating mind can produce.
Myself I tend to freak out afterwards thinking about what I've just done. lol
Remember you're Awesome! You have already proved that here, and awesome people tend to perform awesomely! I have faith you'll do very,very well! :)

I have spoken about epilepsy, which was difficult enough, and can only say that your audience will have a lot to do with your reactions---so if possible, rehearse the speech in front of amirror, or to a friend who will be there, and that way you have a "neutral" image on which to focus.

I spoke to college-age people, and half of them fell asleep. It shot my confidence ot heck the first time, and I was very defensive on the Q&A. After that, I rehearsed Q&A as well--- I really had no idea what questions to expect. Many were nave ("Is it contagious?") and some were rude ("Did you do drugs?")...

I salute your courage, Muji,:-) And please, be sure you have ice water, tissues, a seat available so you can take "moments" when you need to, okay?

A friend of mine who has stage fright always puts his text inside a Bible, so he's reading it "from" the Bible. That helps him (he's very devout). So maybe a favorite, well-loved book that comforts you could work? I've been known to hang onto a copy of Zumdahl's Chemistry (college text) when reading something difficult for me. I stick it inside my beloved book, and holding the book brings me comfort-memories via tactile sensation, versus the upset my eyes are bringing in.

I also use aromatherapy. Sounds goofy, but vanilla is very soothing to me. So is peppermint. So I dab a drop of the essential oil on shoes or similar when I'm entering a scary situation. (This is for all PTSD stuff for me.)

OK, shutting up.

Blessings on you for this, Muji.

OK, Muji, if I were to hear such a talk, and I imagine what people would ask? (I just remembered this Tibetan monk whose talk I attended five years ago and what he was asked about his imprisonment...)

1. Expect questions on "Why didn't you report it, why wasn't it prosecuted, why did people let it happen"? All of which you can dismiss with a "It was war, the rule of law didn't apply, next question"

2. You may hear "What happened to those people who hurt you".

3. There will be the nave questions about nightmares, flashbacks, and other PTSD phenomena. (The monk got to hear "Do you have nightmares about being in prison." Well, duh.... yes.)

4. Someone may ask "Do you wish for revenge". Or, if it's in a church, "do you forgive them". It may feel very intrusive on your healing process.

In general, I noticed the monk had a couple pat answers ready for the very personal questions, but a lot of good ones explaining the social and political and religious situation---more impersonal stuff.

OK, now my brain is foggy again.

I have spoken to colleges and many other places. That was my paid job for a couple of years since there is very little known about the kind of abuse i have been through. I can tell you the talk itself got easier for me over time however the question and answer part did not because you never no what someone was going to ask you.
My opinion about this is to always admit when you don't know or have the answer. Be yourself and people will love you just for trying to help them understand. I have had a lot of people approach me and part of that is very scary and part of it feels really good. Just remember when your students hugged you and how that made you feel so amazing. That is because you are my friend. I had a person come up afterwards and give me the last sweet grass his mother has picked before she died. I was so blown away and touched that I cried.
One thing to remember which we often forget is to breath especially if it become a little hard. Another is to tell them that it maybe hard for you because it's your first time doing so they will totally respect that.
Also remember to remind yourself if it get hard or starts to trigger you that it isn't happening now and you are safe. Also remember that you have us to come back to people who really love and care about you.
Also remember you are safe in that moment. Other than that go get em my friend. Hope to hear how it goes. Many blessings. NAMASTE

You could ask people to write down questions as they have them on a card you give them. Then, take a brief intermission and choose the ones you want to address. The ones you don't, you could consider answering them one on one afterward.

So brave of you.

I know I got nervous when I spoke about my faith conversion, even though I speak for a living. Totally different context and topic. I wasn't triggered, but the adrenaline rush sure felt similar.

I'd practice first- is your class an option?

You could also start it off by leading the group in a little prayer... "Dear Lord, please allow me the strength to deliver my message and the openness of this fine audience to accept it." Or something like that...

Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Hey, those were some really good replies. Good detail, good advice from real experience you all have had. dragon, I definitely will rehearse, and in rehearsing focus on slooowwwwiiiinnnngggg down to breathe. I've found that to really work.

Leo, your 1-2-3-4 list reminds me of a recent guest speaker I had come to my college to speak about her surviving abuse. She's a book author, really respected. She DID get that revenge question. She answered it honestly, saying she never again spoke to her abuser, he went to prison, but she did feel (feel!) like killing him sometimes. Believe it or not, a faculty member got up in arms about her for advocating violence--taking that out of context and forgetting the entire remainder of her speech. So it's good to be reminded. I can also see someone asking why, though it was war, I didn't report my military abusers to their supervising officers. Some people just don't get the fog of war, so I'll just remind them of it and move on.

WB, thanks for leading me to think about the aftermath. I was so focused on the speech itself that escaped me. I'll set it up so I can be more comfortable when/if that "swarm" you mention happens.

CC, in the first draft I included no physical details of that day. Then in a second draft I did. Result: I triggered myself for a couple of hours! So I'm going back to the original approach. I mean, if anybody's watched TV in the US in the last 10 years, they know what torture is, so I don't have to draw them a picture at my expense.

Deli, because of the customary order of these meetings, I don't think I'll be able to actually do the written questions thing to screen them, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't screen them. I think I'll do like the monk mentioned here and have canned answers for those I want to screen, and give spontaneous attention to the more welcome questions.

One of the big issues I find will be difficult to explain will be "why were you tortured?" As if interrogations and torture were really for the purpose of gaining information every time. Sometimes they were done just to spread state terror among the population. The person tortured could have been anybody. That was my case. It made me more angry about it later, something hard to explain--I wasn't even special to my perps.

But I guess that's why I want to speak out. This can/does happen to anybody, so the stigma after the fact is way off target. dragon, that's where it'll be helpful to make a point of saying "I don't know," as you suggest. I'll never know the answer to "why me?" that day, though it's an inevitable question for the rest of my life.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience about when you spoke about this. The coolest thing about DS PTSD is hearing from people like yourselves who've already been there. I'll definitely let you know how it goes.

Good for you. I know you'll make a great speech :)
IDK about sharing PTSD things but I have spoken in front of crowds before. Be sure to practice reading your speech exactly like you would during the presentation: out-loud, don't rush it, look at the room, keep calm. Then when you read it in the actual presentation think of it as no different than your practices.
I don't know why I'm saying this. You're a professor; you'll do fine.

I finally managed squeeze some more brain cells and found this. lol
Do not fear to show tears, to struggle in front of people, You'll almost hear hearts breaking from the audience. People need to see those tears, to see that struggle as they feel the pain of their own Hearts as their empathy flows outs. It will help them to further understand how hard this issue is to deal with, since they have share a taste of your own pain. That will bond to their Hearts, they'll never forget that and will become more compassionate when they come across others like ourselves.
This "sacrifice" You, me and many here have already made, we lived that pain, we have shared it, yet we do it out of Love for others...

Thanks, WB. I worked on it a while today, taking out some parts that would trigger me, giving less detail. I then rehearsed it. In a couple of places I found myself still choking up, so the timing of your advice is right on. I appreciate it. At some point I'm afraid it's just going to have to be ok that I'll do that as I deliver my talk. Looks like it's just part of it.

Muji, when I spoke about epilepsy, I sometimes choked up. I lost my sis to her not caring for her epilepsy properly, so it's a tough one for me, my lousy relationship with my sister notiwtihstanding. Showing that pain? Convinced others to seek help in a few cases, or convinced them there was no shame in wearing a medical alert bracelet.... So for every tear you may shed? You might be saving someone else hundreds. It's how I tried to see it, back when I could do that stuff.

You give me courage to be more open about my PTSD someday. Thank you.

Aw, thanks so much. I'll let you know how it goes. I added a song lyric from Bruce Cockburn about how he felt after visiting what used to be a torture center in a little country similar to mine:

It is too big for anger, too big for blame. We stumble through history so humanly lame. So I bow my head and say a prayer for us all. That we won't fear the spirit when it comes to call.

I hope your spirit's with me when I give the speech!