Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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jenflower 06/03/2013

I have been going through a rather tough time lately. It seems like 75%of my time is given to my abusive past. Meaning that I am either dealing with flashbacks, unlearning what years of manipulation has resulted in, body memories and depression. Over the last 10 years my close friends have been pushed away or not emotionally equipped to deal with me. I feel alone. I have a husband and his sister and brother who can talk to but it feels forced at times. Before I started to remember it was never this hard to have a friend. I get anxiety, nervous and paranoid that they will hate me and think bad things about me after. I have been dealing with this PTSD for 10 years does it get easier. I can't live with my life being consumed with PTsD. I want to go out and live. But it stops me deal in my tracks. The only thig that gives me an instant smile is animals. I have 2 senior cat brothers and a very energetic 1.5 year old puppy. I think if iddint have them and my hubby I would killed myself long ago.

I just want to feel joy for me about me I feel so caught in a web of dispair PTSD and depression. Hard to move every day.

Thanks for letting me go on, its just a hard time lately.
Jen

deleted_user 06/03/2013

For me it does get better, ups and downs, yes. The way my sister and I deal with our PTSD is totally different. I find that I've gotten a lot of perspectives that I didn't have at the time of my abuse. And I have been able to forgive and move on.

It seems you feel that you're stuck in it, and need to get unstuck. Are you in therapy now? Do you do some kind of 'grounding' or 'mindulness', or whatever you want to call the effort to stay in the present moment?

john12as 06/04/2013

Perhaps it's hard to accept but you deserve understanding friends who are non judgemental. You give that to them so why is it wrong to need/expect it back?
You don't have to be perfect to be accepted and cared for... I'm glad your pets remind you of that.

deleted_user 06/04/2013

I'm in the same stage...So don't have a lot of words to say.Only that you're not alone in this stage....I hope it passes for both of us..I feel very stuck too..

I have been able to control my behaviour better through selfawreness but its all still there just better understood anf i have a higher tolerance for it...But very much still there.

deleted_user 06/04/2013

it does get better, but there can be many ups and downs and time between, it is good sign that in your situation animals can make you smile

jenflower 06/04/2013

Thanks for all the replies. Yes I am in therapy. My grounding is not as solid as I would like it to be. I find it hard to be here in the now sometimes.
I am glad I am not alone and I am glad that it gets better. I wish I could see a light at the end of the tunnel.

So I continue...

mujicaptsd 06/04/2013

I make acquaintances as easily as ever, but since my PTSD symptoms really came on years after the event and I really did my therapy for it, it seems like I make actual true friends less easily. I think it's on my end as much as anything.

I'm friendly at work and outside of work, and like I said have many friendly acquaintances. But deep friendship requires deeper self disclosure, and it took me years to just learn the language of knowing myself in my therapy for my PTSD.

I don't mean to make excuses so I can isolate because I don't. But it's hard to put into regular language what your emotional life is like to a new friend. It's a rare language you learn in PTSD therapy. It's hard to translate. That's one reason I love coming here, where people are fluent in the language we share.

sugarbear75 06/04/2013

Yeah, I think I am on a rollercoaster and I struggle with that. I try to work through. Like taking my son to the doctor. I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning. played tic tac toe and hangman with my son. I have a kitty named Zach. We lost a cat named Max, and I told him I wanted one and he decided to get me one for our anniversary. One of the gifts. Very happy. I am a born again Christian I love the Lord and Iean on his promises. I am going to a Christian counselor and work with horses. I love horses. never got to work with them and they are great for learning how to deal with difficult situations and quick thinking. It is amazing how each horse has a different personality and how respond to you. They are awesome! It is a blessing to work with them.

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