Thanks Jenny. I feel like a faliure at 40. Never married damm never even had a serious boyfriend. I am trying to find a new therapist as mine leaves at end of July, That is a whole nother story. I hate having to tell my story over anf over to new therapist. I just see no reason to hang on. I wish I had never told anyone about the abuse, Keeping it inside was so much easier.

I am tired I just wish it would all stop. The nightmare and flashbacks, I was sexual abused by my Dad's Father. I lost my Dad three years ago. I wish I could stop being so miserable. I also suffer from Psychogenic Non-Epiliptic Seizures. I wish they did not control my life. I see my therapist tomorrow hoping we come in with a new game plan. Hoping my Primary Care Dr. can get the insurance to pay for the meds she wants me on. Thanks for all your support.

Proudaunt - My Family is the same way that Your Mom is. I am sorry that Your going through that Mess but the only way Your going to get through it is to talk about it as many times as it takes. I have been going to My Theripist since 2009. I told Him one time I didn 't want to talk about My Molestions when I was 10 - 11 or 15 - 18. Right now I am fighting Myself to get Better but if I don't talk about it I will never get Better. Between 10 - 11 I was Molested by some Friends of the Family ( Not All at the same time ). When I was 15 - 18 My Dad tried to mess with me ( Long Stories ). I want to have Flashbacks & Nightmares so I can be closer so I can deal with My Past & maybe oneday I will be a Better person for it. Also be Healed Permently.

Wish you luck on your journey. I wish sessions were more then 50mins, I feel like I just get talk and the clock goes off. Twice we have gone over in time but then I lose my ride home. I rely on medical services to drive me due to seizures I can not drive. It the over all lose of control. I can't just go out and get away. I am always stuvk in the house. I will keep talk to myy therpist and hope I can find a new one by the end of July. I hope it goes well and she does not admitted me.

You don't have to tell your mom what you and your therapist talked about. That's between you and your therapist!!! It's not privy for her knowledge!! It's between the 2 of you. Not her.

I hate when people feel it's their right to know what's going on in everybody elses' lives. Seriously!!!

I hope you do take care of yourself. I know what it's like to wish I didn't wake up in the morning. Hopefully you get through this soon. And don't tell your mom what you talked about it. It's none of her business.

Trust me I am not telling her anything. Still really depressed but taking in all the wonderful advice on here and living minute to minute.

Thanks for checking on me Jenny. I am doing much better. Tomorrow will be a tough day still hard without my Dad and it always brings up memories of my Grandfather, abuser. The scar on my wrist actually helps me I think of how low I got and how I don't want to go there again.

I know today is tough for alot of us on here.Jenny I hope the feeling passes, it is still sitting in my brain.