I feel the same way. I have taken a bit of mental abuse.

Hugs. Yes it hard I have taken mental and physical abuse. And I can't just get things out of my head

"Where did I go wrong?" For me it was that old mistake made from time immemorial, to keep doing the same thing expecting a different result. That's why that book "Courage to Change" meant so much to me.

I encountered it in my face to face Alanon support group, the first support group I ever joined. It took a long time for me to "get it," but when I did I didn't look back. I certainly didn't keep making that old mistake any more.
https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Change-One-Day-Time-Al%E2%80%91Anon-ebook/dp/B018W8HVNU

Hope you get some rest, Tough.

Have you ever worked on your sleep environment? It REALLY helped me. I had the same issues as you. I put up light blocking blinds, bought a white noise machine that plays a number of soothing sounds for me (babbling brook,rain) and I also invested in a weighted blanket....a very soft one. I also have kitties that snuggle up. All these things combined helped me relax and distracted me. Just a suggestion. You have to find things that are calming for you. Hugs and good luck.

I stay with my parents right now due to my last domestic violence relationship. So it's hard to sleep comfortable. Im on sleepibg pills but that are a very low dose. I need to get away and just be able to sleep in a bed with out being bugged. But also I have it were my brain don't shut off so it's bad. I'm fighting ptsd and depression and anxiety. I just want to go back to me. Thank you all for your support and I will try the things u mentioned.

Tough, when you say "my last domestic violence relationship" it sounds like maybe there was more than one of those. I could be wrong, if I'm misreading you, I apologize. But in my case, there was more than one. That was the mistake I kept repeating, expecting a different result. It was awful. After several of those mistakes, I ended up a grown man back living with my parents again.

I've stopped repeating that mistake for 8 years now, so I have good news to report. I'm still copping with PTSD and its depression and anxiety, but it's a lot easier when I'm not in another domestically violent relationship. I've learned to have boundaries, something I never learned growing up in a domestically violent home.

You are right. I have had two relationships with domestic violence in them. There has been alot of physical and verbal abuse in my life even as a child. My ex husband started hitting me alot and tried to kill me the last time. He became a bad drinker. Then after I left there a while later I met some one that was amazing until the verbal abuse started then the physical abuse to were he messed me up really bad broke my nose my ribs and the emotional abuse it bad. So now I worries about it. Sorry if that's to much. Hugs to you and sorry

You have to stay strong. You can't keep beating yourself up because of a mistake you made or just feel guilty of something that happened. You have to stay strong. When something bad happens in life something good will come and replace it. HUGE HUGS.

Scott