Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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A repeated complaint we lodge here, myself included, is how often people don't seem to get us when we talk about what we've been through.
So I thought I'd post a little evidence to the contrary that has come to me in song through my car stereo this week. First, Leonard Cohen's new album Old Ideas is highly recommended for any of us who has seen what we've seen.
TRIGGER ALERT
His song Amen could have been written for those of us who know the kind of chaos behind the Connecticut shootings last week. I survived such a school shooting when my school bus was caught in a firefight when I was 9 years old in South America. So I appreciate it when Cohen remembers victims and sees them singing some day:
"Tell me again when the victims are singing/ And the laws of remorse are restored /
Tell me again that you know what I'm thinking /But vengeance belongs to the Lord
Tell me again when I'm clean and I'm sober/
Tell me again when I've seen through the horror
Tell me again tell me over and over
Tell me that you'll love me then Amen"
Also, Bruce Springsteen wrote a great song for us survivors with PTSD in his song Devils and Dust. I got PTSD at age 9 when violence started in my home weekly and never ended, at age 10 when repeatedly sexually assaulted by an adult pedophile, and then in 6 years in shooting war combat up close on the front lines. So I don't know how Springsteen gets it, but I can say for sure that he gets me in this song.
TRIGGER ALERT
I survived actually being captured by an enemy army officer who captured me, took out his side arm, put it to my head, and pulled the trigger. It misfired and let me live. I peed my pants in the moment's terror and he laughed mockingly. I survived miraculously, for which I'm so thankful. But a moment like that, along with 6 years' worth of other front-line combat moments like it, couldn't help but also do damage to my heart and soul, as Springsteen shows he gets:
"I got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing, baby
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust"
The fact that they get us doesn't make it all better, no. But there are voices out there showing us that they do get us. That, I offer up, imho, as an encouraging start.
Can you post any songs that show how others out there do actually get us in spite of all?
Blessings
So I thought I'd post a little evidence to the contrary that has come to me in song through my car stereo this week. First, Leonard Cohen's new album Old Ideas is highly recommended for any of us who has seen what we've seen.
TRIGGER ALERT
His song Amen could have been written for those of us who know the kind of chaos behind the Connecticut shootings last week. I survived such a school shooting when my school bus was caught in a firefight when I was 9 years old in South America. So I appreciate it when Cohen remembers victims and sees them singing some day:
"Tell me again when the victims are singing/ And the laws of remorse are restored /
Tell me again that you know what I'm thinking /But vengeance belongs to the Lord
Tell me again when I'm clean and I'm sober/
Tell me again when I've seen through the horror
Tell me again tell me over and over
Tell me that you'll love me then Amen"
Also, Bruce Springsteen wrote a great song for us survivors with PTSD in his song Devils and Dust. I got PTSD at age 9 when violence started in my home weekly and never ended, at age 10 when repeatedly sexually assaulted by an adult pedophile, and then in 6 years in shooting war combat up close on the front lines. So I don't know how Springsteen gets it, but I can say for sure that he gets me in this song.
TRIGGER ALERT
I survived actually being captured by an enemy army officer who captured me, took out his side arm, put it to my head, and pulled the trigger. It misfired and let me live. I peed my pants in the moment's terror and he laughed mockingly. I survived miraculously, for which I'm so thankful. But a moment like that, along with 6 years' worth of other front-line combat moments like it, couldn't help but also do damage to my heart and soul, as Springsteen shows he gets:
"I got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing, baby
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust"
The fact that they get us doesn't make it all better, no. But there are voices out there showing us that they do get us. That, I offer up, imho, as an encouraging start.
Can you post any songs that show how others out there do actually get us in spite of all?
Blessings
I'm Not Jesus by Apocalyptica
Dirty little secret
Dirty little lies
Say your prayers
And comb your hair
Save your soul tonight
Drift among the faithful
Bury your desires
Aborations fill your head
You need a place to hide
And I am
Do you remember me?
The kid I used to be
Do you remember me?
When your world comes
Crashing down I want to relive
(Good God he's looking down on me)
I'm not Jesus, Jesus wasn't there
You confess it all away but it's only shit to me
(Good god he's looking down on me)
I'm not Jesus I will not forgive
No I won't
No I won't
I thought you were a good man
I thought you talked to god
You hippocratic, messianic
Child abusing, turn satanic
Do you remember me?
Do you remember me?
The kid I used to be
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
When your whole world comes undone
Let me be the one to say
I'm not Jesus you can't run away
And the innocence you spoiled
Found a way to live
(Good God he's looking down on me)
I'm not Jesus I will not forgive
I will not forgive
I want whatever you wanted
I will not forgive
I won't be whatever you wanted
Do you remember me
The kid I used to be
Not the same as I used to be
Oh do you remember me?
Noo
When your world comes
Crashing down I want to be there
(Good God he's looking down on me)
I'm not Jesus, Jesus wasn't there
You confess it all away but its only shit to me
(Good God he's looking down on me)
I'm not Jesus I will not
I'm not Jesus I will not forgive
Ohh, I will not forgive yeah, yeah
No I will not forgive
*****AND******
Given Up by Linkin Park
Waking in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me?
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for hope somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me?
God!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery!
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is
Wrong with me?
*****Both of these songs have great videos on youtube.
*peace*
I really am praying for these kids who survived the Connecticut shooting. Thanks for what you said about how I feel about them.
Hope your neck gets better.
red, the linkin park song lyrics sounded like an actual account of an anxiety attack, right down to the hyperventilating. Think so?
Ellas danzan con los desaparecidos
Ellas danzan con los muertos
Ellas danzan con amores invisibles
Ellas danzan con silenciosa angustia
Danzan con sus pardres
Danzan con sus hijos
Danzan con sus esposos
Ellas danzan solas
Danzan solas
One day we'll dance on their graves
One day we'll sing our freedom
One day we'll laugh in our joy
And we'll dance (Sting)
that is an interesting story about leonard cohen, 51percent.
Broken Home lyrics
by Papa Roach
Broken home
All alone
Broken home
All alone
I can't seem to fight these feelings
I'm caught in the middle of this
And my wounds are not healing
I'm stuck in between my parents
I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone I could confide in
I just wanna know the truth
I just wanna know the truth
Want to know the truth
Broken home
All alone
I know my mother loves me
But does my father even care?
If I'm sad or angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
Did the same to you
I'm crying day and night now
What is wrong with me
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
Crying day and night now
What is wrong with me
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
Push it back inside (4x)
A weak link
Broken home
All alone
It feels bad to be alone
Crying by yourself
Living in a broken home
How could I tell it
So all y'all could feel it
Depression strikes hard
Just like my old earth would tell it
To me, her son, she told me I'm the one
Pain bottled up about to blow like a gun
Stories that I tell are non-fiction
And you can take it back
Cause it's already done
BROKEN HOME! BROKEN HOME!
Can't seem to fight these feelings
Caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
Stuck in between my parents
BROKEN HOME! BROKEN HOME!
I dont know all lyrics but I really like:
"It's funny that way, you can get use to the tears and the pain.
What a child will believe, you never loved me.
You can't hurt me now. I got away from you, I never thought I would. You can't make me cry, you once had the power. I never felt so good about myself." :)
Thanks for sharing Muji. It is difficult to articulate the impact of your posts, inspiring doesnt seem sufficient. I feel your sincerity, guess that is why they are so moving. I admire and appreciate your willingness and efforts to learn and grow.
Hugs, Violet
Self forgetful?
Or in agony all the time?
- Seamus Heaney
An Irish poet who grew up in Belfast in the 1960s
Letitbe-they dance alone was a song in a film with Sting, U2, & Springsteen I saw years ago. It was to the Mothers of the Disappeared,e. who I met once down on a trip to South America once long ago. Gracias.