Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I had a setback on Monday. I'd been doing really, really well ... my attitude was good and life was pretty much "normal" for quite some time now. I'd addressed the SA in therapy, using EMDR, and had let my guard down enough to believe that I didn't have to fear my own thoughts anymore (in the form of flashbacks and bad memories just randomly popping into my head).
On Monday I had a brand new flashback. It's of a situation that I almost don't remember at all ... except for one tiny little detail. It dumped me right back into the place I was last year. I'm mad that this is happening now. I thought I was done with all of this. The zoning out, muscle twitching, inability to sleep, inability to focus and all the other crap that goes along with PTSD. I've emailed my therapist but I think she's done with me too. I'd certainly be tired of dealing with me if I were her. 99% of the time I can't even articulate anything that's streaming through my head as I sit in her office. How can I expect her to help me when I can't even say what I'm seeing or feeling?
Am I to expect random flashbacks and memories to pop up and derail me for the rest of my life? I don't want to live this way. One day I'm fine the next day *poof* flashbacks and PTSD symptoms.
On Monday I had a brand new flashback. It's of a situation that I almost don't remember at all ... except for one tiny little detail. It dumped me right back into the place I was last year. I'm mad that this is happening now. I thought I was done with all of this. The zoning out, muscle twitching, inability to sleep, inability to focus and all the other crap that goes along with PTSD. I've emailed my therapist but I think she's done with me too. I'd certainly be tired of dealing with me if I were her. 99% of the time I can't even articulate anything that's streaming through my head as I sit in her office. How can I expect her to help me when I can't even say what I'm seeing or feeling?
Am I to expect random flashbacks and memories to pop up and derail me for the rest of my life? I don't want to live this way. One day I'm fine the next day *poof* flashbacks and PTSD symptoms.
An analogy would be of an onion with peeling back the layers. You may feel better from time to time as you process more trauma and get to the core.
We have to work thru all of our trauma for a clean slate forever.
If I were trying to heal I would slow down and follow the quiet spot in my head. Mindfulness to address how you handle your thoughts is key.
Be able to set and let your thoughts be will be your path to healing.
The alternative is to suffer. Saying or asking how can you live like this is self defeating. You can not effect the future so leave it alone. Just take action and stay present and your worries will vanish. Really you can trust me.