I think you deserve congratulations for taking charge of your life and your weight issue. You have come so far, and are on your path.

I have a close cousin who lost half her body weight and now no longer has to deal w/ the superficial judgements of other people. You can't control someone elses superficiality, but you should know it says more about them than it does about you.

Not feeling included in the way you want can't be fun, but please don't let others diminish the sense of inner strength and determination you obviously have.

Hugs

I hesitate to say I can relate because my weight problem is on the envied end of the spectrum. It seems the whole world wants my low blood pressure and threat of circulatory collapse. Girl, howdy, would I love to let them have it.

Big, boney hug coming at you, IF you are willing to receive it. I am scared to death even offering it. I have been flashing back to compassion-free gang bangs since I first saw your post. Despite all fashion wisdom, I totally relate to the struggle to get to a healthy, manageable weight.

You SHOULD be proud of yourself! Ya done good.

Hi LadyDi! Thank you for sharing and CONGRATULATIONS on your HUGE accomplishment!!! I had written a thoughtful reply to your post, when POOF... it disappeared!!! So, I will try again!

I have never accomplished anything as massive as losing 200lbs, but I can easily relate to the idea of having accomplished something that took a lot of effort and that I am proud of and excited to share with someone else... only to find out that the other person sees only things I did NOT do, what I missed, what I still need to do.

These small disappointments can feel crushing to the little child part of me who learned that her very survival depended on keeping the people in power happy... and never gave up believing that she could meet the mark and secure safety.

But the calm, confident, competent, courageous, curious, creative, core Self... who was preserved unscathed and undamaged through all of the trauma... knows that *I* am in charge of me. I can decide how I respond to other people's negative attitudes and behaviors. I can choose who to allow into my life. I can choose who to quietly walk away from. I can keep myself safe.

I have all of that quiet power residing inside myself right now. This is my understanding of the IFS therapy I have been doing. Please take what helps you in your situation... and just let go of anything that doesn't fit for you.

Peace...
Rosie

I join in the chorus of trumpetting CONGRATULATIONS! You be very, very proud of you! Your success is not dependent on other's opinions! You salute yourself and keep moving forward! It's all about YOUR happiness :)

YEAH... what dpalm said, LadyDi!! That was the point I was attempting to make... but in a more roundabout (complicated?!) way! :-)
Rosie

I gained weight as the typical meds side effect. Coming off them for kidney treatment ended up having the plus side that I could lose weight for the first time in years. Only 30lbs, not 200lbs, but it feels great. It must feel just fabulous to lose 200 like you have! Way to go!