I have caught myself in a trap lately, looking for my self worth and my value in others. How they see me so impacts how I see myself sometimes. I don’t know why I am suddenly so fragile but I am.
I feel so disconnected from everyone and that makes me feel worthless. If no one is connecting with me, wanting to be my friend or returning my calls, if I can’t straighten out my daughters insurance or fix their tiny broken hearts, I feel worthless. If I can’t be who the world “needs” me to be, it feels like my life doesn’t have any value at all.
Those are all lies.
How do we get to a place where we believe those lies?
The truth is my value lies in the fact that I am a wonderfully and fearfully created daughter of God. I am a child of God. If you’re not a Christian, the truth still lies in the fact that I am human. Every human life has value. John Donne says “any mans death diminishes me for I am a part of mankind” That means John Donne believed even the lives of people he never met had value. And I agree with him. So why can’t I value myself?
My abusive ex moved back on Friday. He lives about a mile away. Depression and anxiety are quite high. He has been criticizing my parenting in front of the girls daily for the last week. My therapist tells me not to respond because it only encourages him. At the same time, I flashback to the days when I was with him and feeling trapped. Got a wellness check from the local police...
It is the first Sunday of Spring.I don’t know about y’all, but I definitely am affected by the seasons. Yes, in addition to anni days, I think seasonal manifestations of my PTSD are some of the hardest challenges.Not only does winter gray the world around me regarding my depression, but it also limits much of my physical abilities that help with anxiety and PTSD symptoms.It is still much too...