FLASHBACKS AND DREAMS ARE THE MIND'S WAY OF CRYING FOR HELP TO MAKE SENSE OF AND CLOSE THE FILES ON THINGS THAT WE SHOULD HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH AND DEFY LOGIC. IN THE PLAINEST OF TERMS........I HAD TO PUT ON MY "BIG GIRL PANTIES" AND ACCEPT THAT I DID NOT HAVE TO LIKE THOSE I FELT I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LOVE......BUT FROM A DISTANCE AND THAT WAS THEIR CHOICE DUE TO THEIR ACTIONS, NOT MINE.

Right now you may not see the progress you are making because you are in the midst of what is always a complicated/messy transition. But you are on a good path.

Flash backs and the sometimes paralyzing anxiety that comes with them are awful for everyone. But you can build up soothing skills and strategies for making them more manageable. It takes place over time, and hopefully you will continue to discuss your stress management and anxiety with your therapist.

Personally I am found of my teddy bear and distracting media when things are at their worst. There is nothing wrong with needing to grieve as part of the healing process. Not fun, but necessary.

You are free from your mother's control now and need to take care of yourself nutritionally.

Don't give up but stay the course because you have already placed yourself on a constructive path.

In addition to seeing a psychiatrist who helped me with the meds I needed to get regular sleep and to manage flashbacks, for me it was essential to have a talk therapist, too. Thats where I did the work of figuring out what those images and feelings in my flashbacks meant, as Claim has mentioned here, too.

The psychiatric meds turned out for me to be helpful in the short run, and the talk with the therapist turned out to be helpful in the long run, though I did both together for many years. In time, I changed meds, but what I learned in therapy only grew. What seemed like shattered fragments of emotions and images in flashbacks became a story about myself I pieced together bit by bit. It started to add up to a bigger picture that made some sense of it all.

What a lot of people share here are bits and pieces of what theyre learning in that work, like signposts along the way. Our stories we piece together vary, because we got PTSD through a variety of events. Some through abusive parenting like you, others by being victims of a violent crime or a sexual crime, others from abuse in a marriage or relationship, others from accidents, and others from combat. We all share the same PTSD symptoms and that shattered experience of flashbacks, and are taking the time to piece together our picture of what happened so we can understand and be more at rest and at peace about it.

You should know that for many of us that work takes time. In my case, decades. I have whats called "complex" PTSD from many events over many years dating back to my childhood, including 6 years around close combat in war. So for me and people like me, recovery from PTSD isnt often quick, because PTSD itself didnt come overnight, either.

I hope your migraines lessen, your medications from your psychiatrist work, and you can begin to feel a safe distance grow between you and your abuser.

FYI I am seeing a fabulous therapist who specializes in trauma. Like you muji, my PTSD is also complex, from at least 7 years of abuse.It's frustrating because it's taking so long for me to feel safe.

I am glad you are getting some help, it take real courage to that first step. It will take sometime to find a grounding solution during flashbacks that works for you. You should work with your doctor and get help trying them out to find which ones work for you. For me, focusing deep breathing, visualizing a calm safe place, focusing on things I am grateful for. and keeping book of all the things I am grateful for and reading it over when I experiencing flashbacks have all helped me. It took me a long time to find what worked for me, but the gratefulness stuff has worked the best. For example, I am grate for the beauty that surrounds me everyday, the sky, grass, trees, the lush greenery and the flowers that bloom and smell so good. I am grate for that 1 friend who truly understands and has stuck by me. I ready my list over and over and little by little I have added more and more and gotten better and better. I have learned to put PTSD second, but I am keenly aware it is always lurking waiting for an opportunity to be number one again and dominate my thoughts. I wish you all the best in your journey to inner peace. You can do it.

I'm so glad you have a fabulous therapist, jasgall. It took me about 10 years of good enough ones to find my great one. And then things really progressed. It's frustrating with complex ptsd to have the process take so long. But when it does, it's forever. No, it doesn't make all the trauma and memory of trauma go away, but it does change it for the better forever. You'll see. Best to you!