Trying to keep a victim financially dependent on an abuser is an extremely common tactic both with abusive domestic partners and with "parents" of child abuse survivors.I have known of perpetrators, including one of my own, who have gone to great lengths to keep a survivor from holding a decent job.
If they can pull it off it serves them at least two purposes that I can think of:It gives them a means to control the victim, and it messes with everyone's heads and makes the survivor's allegations of abuse less credible to some people, by making the abuser look like an extremely benevolent, generous, long-suffering person giving financial assistance to someone who can't take care of them self, when in truth the perpetrator's abuse, stalking, and ongoing sabotage of the victim are big reasons-sometimes the only reason- that the victim is not more financially independent.
In a nutshell perpetrators who can afford it financially are willing to pay large amounts of money to keep the survivor in their control and try to discredit them(us.)
Because he has given you financial support after he caused your disabilities, in no way makes you obligated to tolerate more abuse from him.If your husband is aware of your "father" and knows to not automatically believe everything that your abuser might say to your husband if they are alone together, then IMHO your husband's idea for you to not even be there when your abuser is there seems like a good one.Use your imagination about where you could go depending upon how long he plans to stay, but I'm sure we can figure out something before he arrives.
Oh, and you might want to consider taking your little boy with you.You probably already know this, but the kind of manipulative, conniving abusers that you have described also love to try to turn children in the family against the victim.
We will help you through this.You don't have to be there when he's there.If you want to feel even more empowered you can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or if the town you live in has any kind of Family Violence Center you might visit with them as well as hearing what others in this group can suggest.
Stay safe

the closest I can relate are my cousins. I was sexually abused by 2 of them, and my parents knew. Still, at one time or another, both cousins were invited to stay in our family home. I was terrified, and had no where to turn. I was 12-16 years old then, and I hid most of the time only for them to venture into my room eventually. I learned that they are not needed in my life. Now, I do everything in my power to ignore those cousins, and those who put me in harms way(as much as possible). My family was, at one time, all I knew. Now, I am struggling, yes, but free. I would never go back.

The thought of seeing those that were very abusive to me ever again makes me cringe in repulsion...............Good luck, i would avoid it at all costs.

I think you need to sit down with a domestic violence counselor at your local YWCA and make a plan on how you are going to deal with all this. Just know that you are never alone. You have God and you have us!

the most importanat thing is you! ur health comes before anything else.

it is very difficult to think clearly especialy when it is family and a sense of familial obligation.

i think though that y shld consider if he wld stop helping u financialy if yur not there. and what ways more.

i know its hard to feel unsafe in uur own house, to feel u need to escaoe. everyone deserves a place to really call home.

hugs, alexis19

Thanks everyone for your support. I decided that I am not going to be here when they come to visit. I already have high blood pressure and, of course, PTSD and depression. My husband will just have to explain to him why I couldn't be there and that will have to be good enough!

Good for you. He may or may not threaten to withhold financial support if you don't do everything he says but the moment it starts to look like you are doing okay without him and the only way he's going to get a chance to have contact with you to try to find out everything that's going on in your life, so he can keep from feeling like he's losing control of you I'll bet you anything that he will start trying to find a way to convince you to let him pay for something, so he can tell everyone about it and so he can ensure that he has some kind of control over you.