(((((( Muji )))))))
i am sorry you are still having to cope with a rather hostile work environment.

Mexico is in your heart,so you are never really far away,and yes,soon you will be there for real.

i so admire your strength and resilience

Counting the days with you,my friend..

Big hug Muji…… It's almost down to a year..... I know it has to be really hard..... Work takes up so much of our time that it is truly distressing to have a miserable environment..... Shame on the bullies and that's just what they are.... Another hug....xo

Congrats Muji. You are also across the finish line line. I am sorry that you have had live in such a toxic environment. No one should be subjected to that for as long as you have been. Just a little while longer and you will be there.

Muji, you have the count down going. All the support you need. When you deal with the college, always remember that we are here for you. We are the ones who know you. Caring hugs.

As you have said.... you have a legitimate case for disability. You are NOT your father or grandfather. I think it noble of you to stay working, but wonder (and worry) how the stress impacts you physically. Emotionally, it has to go beyond draining.

You deserve to be treated better than you've been. We are with you looking.... The horizon IS there.

Muji, I think that you have found a way to balance the campus with activities with friends and your Sunday activities. The campus is your work situation; the rest is your real life. You are doing this quite well. Hugs.

Big hugs! You are almost there! You CAN do this!!!! I am so happy for you that you only have a little over a year left! I have not been able to work since 20 and get a LOT of rude comments about that even from family, i am now 35, people are so judgemental that i can be hard not to tell ourselves the same things we hear from others!

Muji. We have a saying here about paying for the 'sins of the fathers'. You seem to be paying the price for your grandfather's behaviour. would you consider applying for disability? could you live on it? would it affect your pension? It is very debilitating to work in a hostile environment. I used to live and work in an area about twenty minutes from here and was badly bullied for 10yrs there. Eventually there came 'the straw that broke the camel's back' and I ended up having to sell my house at a loss and move here inland away from the beloved sea which I used to be able to see from my kitchen window. I had to accept Council housing which is a smaller house and in a village (my personal choice would be completely rural) but it is a tiny estate which when you drive in, looks like there are only four houses as the other 6 houses are all out at the front so this made it slightly more acceptable to me and it is usually quite quiet.
It was not until I moved and could sit in my kitchen looking out in peace, no longer seeing the community centre where I used to be head chef/among many other things and it was the core place of where the bullying took place that I realised that I could relax. It was no longer looming over me, nor did I have any further contact with people who felt it necessary to tell me all the dreadful things and rumours the evil people were saying about me.
I am lucky that my boss allowed me to completely change the nature of my work and I now mostly do research and grant applications for the Irish Association of suicidology. He also turns a 'blind eye' to the fact that I work from home because of the difficulty with travel - the new office is about 40mins away. This means that I can generally start work at about 4am and finish at about 2 ish and this gives me a lot more freedom. I can also work up extra hours and then take chunks of time off in lieu.
I too would qualify for disability but at mid 50's I feel I would prefer to work a little longer in spite of the severe pain and limitations as my children still need help and it is good to be able to afford breaks abroad if I want to avail of cheap flights and off season rentals in warmer climes!.
I am hoping though that in a year or two I will be able to choose to go on disability and have a better life without having to push myself so much. Here's hoping my kids all sort their lives out and won't need help from me any more.
I am glad that you can take the Summer off and escape to a better place with a lower cost of living and if disability is completely out of the question I wish wings on time for you and that the coming months pass quickly in your life to get you to your goal of freedom.
You do seem to have excellent plans in place to help keep work stress under control not least of which is coming here regularly to keep your support network strong. DS has been keeping me going since 2007 which is no small feat.
You are almost at the summit and may your feet keep you moving steadily towards it without having to negotiate too many obstacles in your path.
many hugs and good thoughts and energy for the week ahead and i hope your weekend is providing some renewal of mind and spirit.

Thanks, irishwriter, you make a valid point. Given what you say, I might reconsider whether I should let my grandfather's behavior determine mine. I went out to a show with my neighbors last night and it was as if I'd taken a weekend trip away. My neighbors are the first gay couple to be married in my city, and the show was a drag show, something I'd never seen before. It was serious silliness, just what I needed to lighten up with. Ha!

(((((Mujica))))))
Siempre aqui contigo mi amigo
Te mando a very Big hug <3

Muji, very glad to hear that you had a good night out 'a change is as good as a rest' (another local saying!). hugs and may the forthcoming week be plain sailing for you. calm seas are good sometimes.

Muji, I’ve been on disability since my early 30s with periods on ssi before that. I worked when I could and went to school when I could.

But cptsd, as you know, takes a tole on the mind, body and spirit. Even though I’m on SSD now, still work pt as a substitute teacher. For me, i worked too damned hard to achieve what I have only to stop working completely.

Both my parents have been on disability for decades with good reason. I know I’m on it for good reason as well.

You’re not your grandfather any more than I’m my mother or father. I had a chance to flip my lid on my friend but I didn’t. I dealt with her firmly but still with compassion. That’s not something my parents would have been capable of. The only time my father attempted to control his temper was when outsiders (police, family) were watching. I had no one watching me when I was dealing with my friend.

We aren’t them. Don’t let that motivate you to endure if you don’t have to. I endured the toxicity and abuse of my parents. I now have fibromyalgia. It’s not worth the cost.