Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've been feeling ashamed of myself in every way; mentally, physically, and all around the way I am. I'm staying with my aunt who, I believe, feels forced to take over me since my parents failed to. My parents, well, my father I hardly know, and my mother, neglectful and abusive. I feel shame because I'm 20 years old and I have to be supported by people who aren't my parents. I feel as if I'm a burden to them. More bills to add to their list. I can even hardly work because of my illness, although I've recently got a new job. I feel that I've gotten the job too early. I don't think I was ready. One of the reasons I did get it, though, was because one of my abusers, who violated me when I was a child, is in town. I can't avoid this person, either, because this person's a family member. I have to see this person all the time. I've just been pretending that it never happened. For the good part, I've been painting. Yet, I'm still severely depressed. I won't get to take my depression pills for another week due to the anti-psychotics I'm on. I feel severely depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. I want to do absolutely nothing.
I was 19 and had no money. But I used the college thing to get away from them again, this time by transferring to a college in Missouri. That time I got away from them long enough to be free and start out my own life after graduation when I was 22 as a high school teacher in Missouri. THEY STILL FOLLOWED ME to Missouri! But by then I got away from them to Kansas, and they never followed me there.
I know how you feel about being trapped in a situation where you can't avoid abusive people in your family. It was a bear for me to get away from mine. I had no money and was just trying to get through college, and they wouldn't stop chasing me. Even now in the job I have that I got at age 52 I found I had a coworker who they knew. They sent him to start making phone calls for them to me at work. I went to HR and filed a complaint to get him to stop harassing me. He taught Criminal Justice because he was a retire FBI agent, so it was pretty scary having him bother me on their behalf like that. He did stop, though, and I've had this job for 7 years ok now.
Getting independent from a deeply codependent family is the hardest work I ever did and it took a lot. You're not alone, though, here. People get it. I can tell you that I sure do. You have all of my support, marooned. I was marooned with my family, too.
Thank you everyone else for the sweet comments, kind words and feedback, it really does mean a lot to me during these tough times. Thank you. <3