So sorry to hear you are having such a bad day. I can relate to the magic wand wish. As I read your post, I remembered those days of my own. Healing really is there, don't give up. Do you have a therapist? If so, maybe your husband could go with you, and they could show him how to be more supportive. He may not be meaning to harm you, but that is one of the worst statements someone can make when you are FEELING like a zombie.
Lots of hugs

He really is so supportive he just wants to fix me and he feels helpless. I do not have a therapist as of yet, still fighting fear of strangers, medications, finding out I really am crazy. My self talk is still negative at times.

I am doing "Resurrection after Rape" and writing a lot. My goal is therapy. Just curious, how many of you have female vs male tharapists and which have you found easier to work with. I cannot decide which to try.

I'm glad your husband is supportive. Maybe knowing he does not have the ability to "fix you" would take some of the pressure off. Sounds like you have some of the fears that kept me away from therapy so long. Medications are a choice you make, you don't have to take them. Your not crazy, crazy people don't even think they are crazy. You questioning it is a good indication that you are not crazy. I have a female therapist now, the others were male. I don't think it really makes a difference. It's about feeling comfortable with someone, trusting them. You just kinda have to feel that connection with them. If you don't after a few sessions, ask to see someone else.

Unfortunately there is no magic wand. Wished for that too at times, but having support at home is a wonderful plus. It is hard..I know my husband tells me he wishes he could make me better, but he will stand by me no matter what. I do the same for him. It is difficult and my therapist told me the same thing jay77 said. If I am asking if I am crazy, it means I am not. :) (maybe Just a little as he put it.) lol,
IT will get better and sometimes it will get worse. THat is what happens to me. Good days ahead for all of us I hope and pray. Glad you are able to open up here. Helps to talk about things. Take care.

I hear you with the roller coaster ride. It's hard some days, please know you are not crazy. And don't let anyone tell you that you are. What happened to you is real, and how you react to it is real too. It's very hard for people to understand. It's is good that your husband is supportive, when you do get a therapist I would suggest that he go with you a time or two, your therapist can maybe give him some ways to help. I have a female therapist myself, I find that I have an easier time with females.

Thank you guys for the support and the hugs, just a bad tear-filled day today, I have high hopes for tomorrow though :)