Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've been good about working hard at being real about my PTSD this week. Yesterday I had a student come to my office, tell me she had been diagnosed with PTSD, and could I find her a counselor. So I told her it was true what she heard, that I'm an instructor out of the closet about having PTSD, and I do help new students like her find a counselor. So I did.
It's new this year to be living out of the closet at work about having PTSD. Sometimes it works like it did in the case above. Other times it has really sucks to find out how people stigmatize and twist things around.
Now it's coming to the end of the week, and I've done the best I could do. I'm a little shaky--I mean literally shaky. I've got PTSD adrenaline going, I'm hypervigilant like I get when I'm tired, my PTSD symptoms start poking through all my defenses.
And know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get a good night's rest, get through my TGIF tomorrow, and tomorrow night I'm going to resist the PTSD urge to curl up in the corner and I'm gonna go to a poker game with the guys to which I was invited today.
Then Saturday I'm gonna resist the urge to stay in all weekend like I did last weekend and feed my agoraphobia, and I'm gonna go to the darn NHL hockey game in the city I bought a ticket to a few weeks ago.
I'm bound and determined to be a friend and a poker player and a hockey fan, too, this weekend, and not just nothing but a PTSD patient. I'm not gonna pretend I don't have PTSD, no, but I'm not gonna let PTSD define all of me all of the time, either.
I don't know how to do this, by the way. I'm one of those CPTSD cases, so I got PTSD so many years ago I don't remember how life was before it and I don't know how to live it.. So I figured I'd ask you. Because what's the point of surviving if you don't get a life?
Anybody know how? I figure I'm gonna start with "fake it 'til ya make it," but that's all I've got for now. So all suggestions welcome. Seriously. Thanks.
It's new this year to be living out of the closet at work about having PTSD. Sometimes it works like it did in the case above. Other times it has really sucks to find out how people stigmatize and twist things around.
Now it's coming to the end of the week, and I've done the best I could do. I'm a little shaky--I mean literally shaky. I've got PTSD adrenaline going, I'm hypervigilant like I get when I'm tired, my PTSD symptoms start poking through all my defenses.
And know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get a good night's rest, get through my TGIF tomorrow, and tomorrow night I'm going to resist the PTSD urge to curl up in the corner and I'm gonna go to a poker game with the guys to which I was invited today.
Then Saturday I'm gonna resist the urge to stay in all weekend like I did last weekend and feed my agoraphobia, and I'm gonna go to the darn NHL hockey game in the city I bought a ticket to a few weeks ago.
I'm bound and determined to be a friend and a poker player and a hockey fan, too, this weekend, and not just nothing but a PTSD patient. I'm not gonna pretend I don't have PTSD, no, but I'm not gonna let PTSD define all of me all of the time, either.
I don't know how to do this, by the way. I'm one of those CPTSD cases, so I got PTSD so many years ago I don't remember how life was before it and I don't know how to live it.. So I figured I'd ask you. Because what's the point of surviving if you don't get a life?
Anybody know how? I figure I'm gonna start with "fake it 'til ya make it," but that's all I've got for now. So all suggestions welcome. Seriously. Thanks.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
But I've discovered that going out there for *life* is of itself how I've gotten a life. College, marriage, jobs, etc., that's all life, and you've *been* doing it. Life's not just the poker parties and hockey games, it's also gthe trips to the grocery store (I hope to do those again someday!)... Sitting in traffic cussing it.... Being hypervigilant and stressed is *worse* with PTSD, but people get like that just from a bad week at work. I married a guy whose psyche is so well within "normal"... And he had a He**job for a decade that literally pushed him as near breaking as anything.... And he's got a different job in the same industry, did what he needed to get out there and keep trying... He's my hero and inspiration in that sense.
On the other hand, yes, my belief in him has been a big part of that ability to "get out there".
which is where I'm headed....
WE BELIEVE IN YOU! Let that belief hold you up when you need a moment to close your eyes, center, breathe, and then get back to reminding yourself to *never* draw to an inside straight. ;-)
My mini excursions to art galleries, country festivals not to mention outstate visits and ferry boat rides...I still get shaky on toll bridges..but I have lost the solid belief that they will open when I am on them...but it still flashes in my head.
Maybe you will get to an understanding with the CPTSD, that even with the fears and reactions, you are more than what was done to you....( or me)
Hugs of support and keep it penny ante poker.
Hugs J.
I am not sure "fake it until you make it" is the correct wording but you are already doing it. You are already challenging yourself and pushing boundaries. You are putting control back in your hands and with this shift you will rapidly start getting better!
My "fake it until I make it" moment was telling myself I was not sick I had a normal reaction to some bad stuff. This has turned out to be a major defining moment in my recovery. It freed me from the chains of ptsd allowing me to steadily get better and better. Hard to explain but my life changed drastically for the better.
I am so happy for you!! I aplaud your courage and determination. Keep up.the good work!
But, I am trying to kick the Denial Habit. Radical Acceptance. I have a very long list of pains I have to live with. Inventory y nada mas. Sometimes life just hurts.
But those pains are just part of the inventory. Don't forget to put the yin to the yang in your daily inventory. You have poker stakes to win, a team to cheer and friends to attend. . . There are indeed, many wonders to be wandered in this amazing world we live in.
I save the "Fake it 'till you make it" for the isolated incidents, like hobbling up or down stairs. Gots to do lots of fakin' it til I make the top of most stairs these days. Increasingly, the getting down without gravity getting the upper hand is rugged, too. Insert Pete Seegar song here.
"My get up and go done got up and went.
"But ne'er you laugh
"I don't mind at all
"I'd rather be huffin' than not puff at all."
I'll fake it till I make it. Huff. . . Puff. . .
Self-care, self-care, self-care, dragging myself by the scruff of my neck out of depression yet again...bleargh! I want to have fun! I want a different job that actually pays my bills! I want to be able to go see my fiance($$$$)...
I enjoy making art so I need to do that. I enjoy having friends. I enjoy playing games. I enjoy being out in the woods. I need to do all that too.
Sometimes I have friends of friends who call me and I actually had someone that's close friend of my landlord/friend who's struggling right now more with dealing with grief
Good for you getting out and about.... I don't venture nearly as far and I admire your courage
I hope you win the pot!!!... Big hug...xo
You are awesome, Muji, and thanks for all you do and share:-)
Works for me. Sounds similar to your success. YAY!!!