All of those things, but 2 and 4 are huge indicators for me. Also, have I lost track of time or do I know what I’ve been doing? Having a plan for the day and following through keeps me level and helps me understand when I’m needing more self compassion, self care and s good chat with supportive people or a counselor.

These are all related to my own mental illness which sounds different from yours but maybe coping and recovery is the same all around?

The hardest part of mental illness is that every case is unique, Lady, even when we share a common diagnosis. Still, I find great strength in sharing as best as we can.

The level of movement is a good measure for me. When my body reaches stillness. Until then, it’s duck and cover as I try to get out of my own way.

That one works for me, too, Nancy. Thank you. Don't know how I missed it. When I am in episode, I can't stay still no matter how physically exhausted I am. Well. . . Early episode? I have experienced catatonic dissociation and. . . May I never go there again.

Good point, arfie. I was just talking to a community college student in the Psyc199 class I teach about how it's more useful for a person in PTSD recovery like me to put the word "normal" aside in favor of the word "functional." When you mention the "kiddie whorehouse" in this thread, it puts that into perspective. After having been raised there, how would anyone measure "normal?"

So the 1-2-3-4 checklist you've made here really works for me.
1. Breathing? I try to remember my meditation tools.
2. Focus? I have flashbacks standing in front of a classroom full of students, so I write a script for each class that I project up on a screen for us all to follow--especially me when I lose my place during a flashback. I can get back on task.
3. Compassion? Trained in people pleasing in a dysfunctional family that put my needs last, I more easily refrain from calling others names. Still too often I curse myself for my own PTSD disability. I would do well to be more gentle to me.
4. Clenching? I grind my teeth in my sleep. Last night I woke myself up doing it. I think this time it was about my PTSD anxiety for taking a sick day due to my doctor's diagnosing me with bronchitis. That goes back to mom's abuse of me as a kid when I was sick at home.

So using your checklist shows me both plus and minus aspects of my recovery today. That's why it's useful. Overall, today I see myself not worrying about being "normal," but according to the checklist being "functional" and therefore "OK." That's why I keep that OK status on my DS profile; I want to keep balanced and OK.

Thanks for the checklist. Hope you're OK today, arfie.

Big squishy hug for you sweetie.... I hope that you're starting to recover

I start to feel again and can cry..... I liked it better to tell you the truth when I couldn't but feelings have come back

Not having therapy keeps me longer in a disassociated state

Yea, "Normal" is a seriously skewed concept from the perspectives of a geophysically unstable child prostitute. It is remains shocking to my senses how many of the Janes and Johns who used me were icons of Normal.

The further I get on my healing journey, the more often people call me, "Normal" and the more I believe that is really just another way of saying, "I neither know you, nor care to know you." I can live with that. . . It's not my job to educate you.

Yes arfie, may you never go there again. hugs~

I'd sure love it if you care to share those functional checklists, Simpson.

Raising children might have been my most potent set of lessons on just how arbitrary the Normal setting is. Fitting in/being normal doesn't seem to come naturally to any child, under any circumstances. I often wonder if that is what makes parents, teachers, etc. so essential and such a deep tragedy when a child falls through the cracks.