Don't you give up on yourself and the rest of the world either. We are hear for you during this difficult period in your life. Please if you really feel you are going to harm yourself, call a suide prevention line or go to your local hospital.
You have a lot going on in your life and you are in a lot pain. If you don't have a good therapist get one. Keep in touch with your doctor to get the other problems under control.
Journal your thoughts, paint, or draw. Try some new approaches.

Hello proudaunt, Don' t give up. You are a Special person & You are not here alone. I was molested at ages 10 - 11, 15 - 18, I was robbied at Work at Gunpoint in 2004 & 2005. I am here to listen.

You are getting treatment for the low potassium, right?

Morton's no-salt is potassium chloride, I use is-it helps me to satnd up to the heat... but I'd much rather a doc treat you than you do it yourself.

If you can but have not, get a second opinion on the seizures...and maybe try taking a regular dose of a multi-mineral supplement... just a thought, if you are deficient in potassium I wonder if you are low on other minerals.

Keep in mind I know nothing about your physical problems, am not a doc, and anything I suggest is just that, a suggestion and no substitute for a doctor's advice.

I believe there is something very special for you, that only you can do specifically like no one else - you just haven't found it yet.

Thank you all for you kind words. I will see my therapist today, hopeful she will help me work through it and not admit me. hylierandom I take three 20mg pills three times a day. That much can kill a person with normal levels. I have had three opionins on the seizures. Two Dr.s have told me I will never work again. I have worked since i was 14 I love working and miss it so much. I also can not drive and live in a town with out much to walk to. Las time I took a walk I had a seizure on the sidewalk of a major road. Not even sure how I got there far from home. i guess as the say one day at a time. Feels like one hour at a time.

Apolgy for bad spelling.

hi,please don't give up.it is so easy,and i always said"my family may not be a part of my life,i can be grateful to see my own perspective of the sexual abuse i experienced in early childhood"from this i gained strength over the years,and feel like i really can't afford to have them around-too toxic,sick,and close minded.i am glad you have a therapist,as i do too.i see the good doctor tomorrow,and it is always good to have someone to talk to.stay strong,and stay here.we need your honesty.thank you

Thanks lilmo I am trying really hard not to give up. I did see my Therapist on Tuesday and we work through alot. Some times I wish i could have another appointment next day. Because now I am left with the conversations but not the answers. My step- sister (we have no realationship) decide to send me with out any warning a video taken of my Dad taken the night before he died. He died on Christmas morning the family did not call my sister or in until the next day. I apart of me is happy to have this video I can hear him laugh and make funny comments. But I liked my own memories with him to be my last. Not memories of him with his other family. Who already got alot more love from him then we ever did. I just don;t know if a can keep living on this roller coaster of emotions. But I am trying.

i say the unknown prospect that suicide is a horrible way to die. to die at our own hands is the worst thing I could imagine. I would rather die in a plane crash and that scares the shit out of me.

I have posted this all night.

If you are logical in the midst of a thunderstorm which is what it is you in now..you know this will pass. You know this. depression comes and goes..until then if the doc you are seeing aint doing the job he should be doing then it's time to ask for help eleswhere. Sometimes crazy thoughts come from bad crazy drugs. The thing you are treating gets worse with the treatment.

And another way or reason to stay here cause I'm having suicidal thoughts ideation all the time...

" I say this all the time too. but there are the thoughts of when police call my family and my son to tell them what happened. I can't let my soul having that hang on me ya know. Scarier to commit suicide to me.

IN the meantime it does suck but look at it like this..death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. if you want to have a picnic on a rainy day then you are going to get wet. let the rain flow. feel everything even the darkness but i bet if you look around there are a million reasons to be.

Picture yourself as an infant. now imagine killing that baby. pretty gruesome. you stay around because your soul is smarter. you came here to have a human experience in a body. you must endure until life comes to natural progression I believe or you have to come back and do suicide all over. that creeps me out more.

Pretty creepy if you really think about it. God bless. You not alone. "

In the meantime make notes to yourself all over the house next time something nice happens or your heart feels full. I was near death and i ended up volunteering for 4 years to help needy moms. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when there are so many others feeling sorry for themselves too. help out here and you will notice how powerful you are for having this illness. Sometimes much wisdom comes from the rain..and you can have a beautiful soul if you don't water yourself sometimes.

You are the reason to stay around Everylasting happiness is assured. :)"

Wow Pennyphone you sure wrote that great. It really hit my heart. As much as I have thought about it often,I don't really wanted to die. I want to be out of this hell. Between triggers and seizures I have no life and can not even go get the mail anymore, my seizures are coming more and more often. I really appreciate what you wrote and hope I can reach ou to you in the future.