I just ranted my husband and son right out of the house.. I feel bad for my behavior.. I am reacting to something I can't put my finger on.. so I will try to make this as short as possible..

Past to present

met my hubby and step daughter 20 years ago.. Since that time I have noticed a very toxic pattern they have when they are angry at me is to sit and cut me down behind my back to each other..

5 years ago Step daughter, new born and boyfriend moved in with us for help and the talking behind my back became abusive and toxic.. I worked 8 hours a day came and her dad and her would sit those 8 hours talking about me. and her younger brother who is 8 years younger she has had to get counselling on her jealousy towards him.. She was diagnosed with Bipolar and her dad has bipolar as well.. She doesn't believe she has bipolar and is on no medication
huge blow up and she moved out hating me.. Her dad was very mad at me for a while during that time he ended up getting very very close to the neighbor lady.. we ended up having a separation ourselves for 6 months it was just destructive..

Inbettween I had made amends and was seriously trying and it seemed like she was as well so we started really being open and honest to each other.. silly me........

Decemeber of this year I found out my husband is a sex addict and has a whole other world on the computer and has been for 15 years.. My step daughter came for Christmas and the cut downs and talking behind my back... Everything I had talked to her about she talked to her dad about 5 years had went by I honestly thought there was a friendship there.. . she went home after 3 days..


after Christmas my hubby and I went to counselling and he lied about everything I found he used things I had told our step daughter.. I watched him play the counsellor to the point I drug him to the doctors and to his bipolar specialist , the lying was off the charts and he still hasn't been honest on his own .. I am still working thought crap with him.. and he nolonger wanted to go to the counsellor because I tell on him as he put it.. Really!!!

two days ago step daughter sent us a letter saying she wants nothing to do with us.. I at this point in my life am very fine with that... I have enough on my plate again to clean up I will have to deal with her later.. I have to deal with the addiction under my roof and how I was so stupid I didn't even see it.. But today Hubby says he needs to see the counsellor on how to deal with our step daughter issues.. Not about us.. not about his lying not to be completely honest but to deal with our step daughter issues.. ok.. so I should be happy right because getting to counselling one way or the other is good right.. But.. I was so angry that I don't get him to counselling she does.. I just think it says a lot about his level of caring for us.. Counselling be damned for us.. But his step daughter that makes him want a counsellor.. I am hurt.. and don't know if I should be.