Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I can never sleep! Really. My 16 year old sister who's also recovering from mental illnesses, has decided to return to splitting her time between my divorced parents' seperate homes. Previously, she had lived solely with my Dad. Mom is responsible for abusing me. I cut off contact with her in July after she became verbally abusive following a family party.
Dad told me he couldn't take me to my appointment (I'm disabled and can't drive.) because my sister's small car was loaded down with things she meant to take to Mom's. In the midst of telling me this, Dad said "Your sister decided to not judge your mom based on the actions of the past." He always seems to be trying to convince me to start talking to Mom again. But I don't want to. IT'S MY LIFE! SHE IS TOXIC! She won't even admit to the abuse let alone start talking about it. I am so sick of not being able to sleep! I can't calm down because the hell she put me through is never more than mere seconds from my mind. I wish she had to live in my head for a day.
Dad told me he couldn't take me to my appointment (I'm disabled and can't drive.) because my sister's small car was loaded down with things she meant to take to Mom's. In the midst of telling me this, Dad said "Your sister decided to not judge your mom based on the actions of the past." He always seems to be trying to convince me to start talking to Mom again. But I don't want to. IT'S MY LIFE! SHE IS TOXIC! She won't even admit to the abuse let alone start talking about it. I am so sick of not being able to sleep! I can't calm down because the hell she put me through is never more than mere seconds from my mind. I wish she had to live in my head for a day.
Sometimes, I think there's a mercury tilt switch:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercury_switch
somewhere in our bodies or heads.
When we lay down, the brain gets a huge hit of caffeine.
On my best days, I make it through, but ... head hits pillow ... mind goes nuts.
I'm sorry that your family has been the source of so much pain, instead of the ideal nurturing, love, safety, comfort, and security.
Many of us know that all too well.
I wish you peace, health, and strength.
And a good night's sleep.
Sleeping well is essential to my living well and having PTSD. It's fundamental. I try not to drink too much caffeine, go to bed at the same hour nightly, and I take melatonin, the over the counter gentle sleep aid I first heard about here. It's gotten to where it works for me, and I sleep well for the first time in years.
My spiral into panic attacks, flashbacks, and the whole PTSD mental dance happens when I don't get enough sleep. It's that important.