Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I had a rough morning. My throwing my body clock off usually stresses the daily resistance I have that keeps flashbacks from poking through. This morning I had a flashback attack, therefore, with little in the way of my usual coping defenses and it was so strong it made me vomit. That happens if I get a physical illness like the flu or, in this case, a kidney infection. I call it PTSD flashback opportunism.
So I picked myself up and I decided I would have some interaction with some skin people after such a nasty flashback. I've had some posters on hand I wanted to hang in my office at school so I decided to make myself feel useful and social again & go in. Folks at the office were nice to see. Then a math professor friend of mine popped by and told me his older brother just suddenly died of liver cancer. 2 weeks from discovery of it to death for the poor guy.
My math professor colleague was crying, and I was glad to be there for him. I realized that responding to this morning's flashback attack by coming in to the office instead of staying home put me in my math professor friend's path. I could've stayed home and felt sorry for myself for puking my guts out. I do feel pretty sorry for myself just after having flashbacks so hard that I puke. But I don't have to let it be all about me. I got out of the house to the office, and there was a guy who needed my shoulder to lean on. A serendipity thing. Wow.
Muji
So I picked myself up and I decided I would have some interaction with some skin people after such a nasty flashback. I've had some posters on hand I wanted to hang in my office at school so I decided to make myself feel useful and social again & go in. Folks at the office were nice to see. Then a math professor friend of mine popped by and told me his older brother just suddenly died of liver cancer. 2 weeks from discovery of it to death for the poor guy.
My math professor colleague was crying, and I was glad to be there for him. I realized that responding to this morning's flashback attack by coming in to the office instead of staying home put me in my math professor friend's path. I could've stayed home and felt sorry for myself for puking my guts out. I do feel pretty sorry for myself just after having flashbacks so hard that I puke. But I don't have to let it be all about me. I got out of the house to the office, and there was a guy who needed my shoulder to lean on. A serendipity thing. Wow.
Muji
Glad you were available for your colleague's need. The exchange of empathy seems to help both parties. It's good you could offer a shoulder for him to cry on.
What you did for that guy adds up that you did it inspite of how you felt counts a lot.
vomiting has always been a part of my symptoms too, so i can really relate.
you really rose to the occasion for your friend, and he's lucky to have such a cool guy to support him.
I don't think that I do flashbacks so much, as I avoid those memories by shutting down.
I wish the flashbacks to lessen in frequency, and severity, for you.
51%, you're exactly the person I though of when being behind the 8-ball physically got me those flashbacks. I didn't know of anyone more severely behind the 8-ball than you at the moment, and I did recall that you said surgeries and physical treatments had led to flashbacks in the past for you. I'm SO GLAD that's not the case for you now!
My PTSD during illnesses and such only gets triggered cuz I have to deal with people and I lose the feeling of control that I need. If I'm flat out and have to put up with annoying people my adrenalin lever soars. Sorry to say that I'm a difficult patient.