Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I'm posting this in hopes of finding someone who relates because I'm feeling pretty lost and confused.
I have PTSD due to sexual and physical abuse, and two weeks ago I was involuntarily hospitalized at a psych ward because I got into a fight with my boyfriend (who is not abusive) and he called the police and told them I was suicidal (I wasn't, but he says he was worried about me.)
My biggest triggers being handcuffs and guns, I wasn't able to explain my side when the cops pulled me over. The minute they put on the cuffs, I broke down and they assumed it was because I was suicidal. I was hospitalized for three days where no one believed me and repeatedly told me how I felt. I was able to swallow the pain until I was released, but ever since then I've been having more panic attacks than ever before.
I know the cops were doing their job, and I know my doctors had no reason to believe me (and I'm sure plenty of patients lie to get out,) and I'm able to understand that my boyfriend thought he did the right thing and he's apologized for it. But.....I can't shake this feeling like I've just been assaulted all over again. I'm having a lot of trouble coming to terms with everything that happened and how powerless I felt.
Can anyone else relate? Please share with me if you can. I just want to know I'm not alone.
Being arrested would do that to most people, so you are not alone. I had that happen too as a result of triggers and medication not mixing well. I broke down in the police car, and stayed that way all through the booking and incarceration (3 days).
Doctors only have what they are told about, so they will fit your actions into that category.
There was a famous experiment that showed this with volunteer students using a script that made them appear to have symptoms of schizo behavior. None of them had it and stopped talking about the symptoms as soon as they were admitted, but were still held up to two weeks. The doctors had hindsight bias (because of defined symptoms) and the personnel and therapists went along with it, even attributing normal behavior as paranoid.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_experiment
I still have the fears from that ( an uncontrolled situation) but understanding their behavior helps some.
Hugs and support.
Jewell