yes, it's a common symptom. PTSD can get in the way of everything. You are not disgusting because of the abuse you suffered,, but you may need some healing and recovery before you are ready to get involved.

Yes, how could we not internalize negative messages about ourselves intimately when they were pounded into us by so called loved ones? And yet we loved ourselves anyway enough to survive. No small feat. I believe we build on that and we have intimacy with others, too.

This is a tough one for me to answer.
I don't have them---but I'm married 22 years to myhubby and we have a lot of history to help us adjust to the times I really do not want to be touched or am in a state of mind when intimacy is a no-go.

If I was in the dating scene? I wouldn't be in the dating scene. I'd just not try till I felt secure in myself enough, if that makes sense.

Wish I had more help to offer, but you're not alone. This is a tough one and like I said, I'm still married to the same person for 22 years now. Changes the dynamics enormously.


Blessings,
Leo

Oh yeah definitely. Before my wife I could not be intimate with anyone. I was raped by boys twice when I was in early teens. Later my first wife was physically and mentally abusive. There is more but you get the gist. Therefore I could trust no one male or female. So most of my life before my beautiful wife my theme song was Pink's "You and your hand" But then my symptoms got worse lately and my relations with my wife suffered. They put me on Welbutrin, trazodone, and a nightmare pill. Now we are more passionate, and closer than ever before. I hope some of this helps. But no you are not alone. Maybe you need the right person that always appears when we are not looking, and the right meds. I used to be totally against meds but know that I know they can work I do not know how I ever did it without them.

Oh yeah, I certainly have had problems.

The thing is? you feel ugly and disgusting, but feelings aren't reality.
The icky-dirty feeling is really hard to fight off, but it's not deserved, and it's not the truth.
Abusers can hurt us bad, but they can't really contaminate our souls.
You are acceptable and lovable as you are

As far as the ugly bit, if attractive girls are approaching you, chances are you're conventionally good-looking.
Even if you were homely? looks aren't everything.

Apparently they see something in you that you have trouble seeing. Maybe they see it clearer than you do right now.

Thanks for your help guys, it really means a lot to me :)

Yes, same as the above posts mostly