hi all! my story started with depression and anxiety after my papa died age 9. this cause severe concentration issues in learning and big criticism from my mother who had PTSD, anxiety from her WWII teenage years. then came a morning when a neighbor offered me a ride to school but was a pedophile i barely escaped. i kept it from my mourning mother. my teenage years were a big grey veil and i literally escaped to the US to study aka get my sanity to live and escape depression and the despoarate grip fo my mother.. ended up married  to an overindulging GI while i was busy with my college, big mistake. mother's advice then, dont marry beneath you, ... entered the air force and had a brilliant career infront of me being groomed for a commission. my dream. when i was assaulted and raped. a then bf i would have ditched as totally incompatible, never choose a man who envies you for your success and shows warning signs, forced sex on me within a week to try me out like a pony which furthered my scars. but in those days nobody cared and i ended up following the loser, separation from the military on pregnancy. i went from confident squadron mascot to frightened little mouse and so this happened. i ended up controlled and emotionally abused for 2 years until my ex rescued me virtually. but then even out of state this, as i found out jerk was a married guy, father of my child but no paternity established, he threatened me with getting me into legal troubles to lose my child. making bogus 911 call, kidnapping my daughter then from grandma's house, and maliciously slandering me when i tried get back into the navy. enough for a judge to go mad! expecting welfare queen with all her flaws unfit as mother, this judge saw a fulltime emplyed management consulting intern abou to finish her degree in business fulltime also infront of him. so lived in fear after the judge's warning words until my breakdown in 1997, i make this a short one ok skipping other issues...diagnosed with anxiety panic depression...i became a regular to the VA where i had worked previously. i managed to raise my child as best as i could on SSDI etc when i finally said the hell....i get my child support. the DA furious as hell over hearing about the threats which made me not file earlier went into action garnishing. my daughter was already 15. she is now 35 with a above average life of riley, the perfect life, but forgot it was earned on my back and complete personal sacrifice nobody would do...so i was told even!. daddy dearest came into the picture and little girls fall for that, hungry as they are for family when you have none to offer. after a while there come accusations and even personal emotional threats, all eventually denied of course, and here and there a slip telling me someone is playing her mind...too late, here comes step brother along feeding her more trash.sounds all good of course when you hear how much they all love you and tried to get you into the family ..well forgetting it was by illegal means but who cares right? and what can you do when your dughter insists on living in the NOW but takes your NOW from you while constantly pushing you into the PAST and faulting you  that it was you who lived in the past. i with the emotional abuse started having issues with PTSD and bad trigger issues and things start derailing being called liar victim player drama queen unaccountable for my actions....and how do you defend yourself when your daughter made up her mind it is you who lies and not the abuser and liar? to put fuel on my wound, i am to "reconcile with this XXXX who keeps lying and lying? i am to break bread with him, ho merry xmas? and counselling was cancelled at the vet center after 2 sessions of vicious slanderous lies and confabulations so the VA therapist stepped in as this abuse was not helping my CPT. nightmares, sleepless night, night terrors, depression....and more meds wasn't the answer! so here i am still in CPT after 5 months what was to last 12 sessions struggling and my emotions are now critical after being treated like a lune by my daughter and her inlaws and landing in these peacemaker surpsise games from daddy through his son to totally insult me. so i have no choice but cut them all loose and go into my woman cave with my dogs avoiding them all before i snap maybe! everybody has her limit. i lived 6 years with a combat vet from Nam special forces but that was a licking compared because he had honors and respect. this all really brought back the veteran in me! so thatta be moi! emotionally on a shoe string, nobody knows i am alive even....