Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am new to this group. I really need to talk to someone who understands. I have never said these words out loud. I was molested as a child from the ages of 5-13 by my dad. Nobody knows. I'm now 34 years old and the hurt and memories that I tried so hard to keep buried is building up and boiling over. I've been having such bad flashbacks and panic attacks that I passed out/blacked out. I don't remember last night at all. I must have hurt myself because I have scratches on my arms. Has anyone else experienced these type of blackouts/ memory losses??
I suspect my mother must've been molested as a girl, too, and that it had festered in her as untreated PTSD. My telling her unleashed a monster within her and she began to direct an unending stream of verbal, physical, and spiritual abuse on me that never stopped even in my adulthood.
I never received love from her ever again, and she turned my father and sister against me. Eventually, cousins, aunts, and uncles, and grandparents, too. She worked at that hard with a maniacal singleness of mind and never let up. That's why I think it must have come from her own molestation as a kid, because only hurt people can hurt people like that.
I left home at 17 and was on my own ever after. Out in the world I learned that it is not our fault at all when stuff like that happens. It's been a relief to learn that and to pass the word along.