Whiel I do use "I could've had it worse" as a therapy tool (against self-pity, by catastrpohizing what did happen into even worse, which is possible in my case, since I didn't actually die or get sold or similar...) .... I still flare up like fireworks doused in gasoline and exposed toa match. Yes, it can always be worse. That doesn't mean it wasn't HORRIBLE. I hear ya, Arfie, and share your grrrrrrr. My bloody ditzy stupid SIL does that, "Oh if it was that bad you wouldn't have survived". What do you say we take a road trip to Minnesota and explain a few things to the Ditzoid Princess of Wonder Bread Suburbia? *cackles evilly*

Yeah. I tcould be worse. DOesn't make it *good*. UGH. And while I'm sure they mean to give us "perspective"? It feels like they're give us the bum's rush, to me.

My Rant:
I Know Exactly How You Feel...NO You *ucking Don't!
Makes me crazy when someone says that to me.. Depressed, at a funeral, whatever....No One Knows How I am Feeling....THEN they have the *ucking nerves to go on and on about themselves and their "personal tragedy" that started "I Know Exactly How You Feel....UGH! So when they are supposedly giving sympathy, essentially they Want You To Commiserate at how they've had such a bad time. My response is a Fast Thank You and at a marathon pace get myself away Fast. Just my own "Feelings", no doubt they mean well and are truly wanting to help...for me, it goes right up my backside.

Huge hugs.... People that do this actually think they're helping ..sigh... It is frustrating for sure... 'take a walk in the sunshine'... Stick the sunshine up your collective... cuss bucket....xo

LMAOROF.....Thank You Jan....laughing my ass off rolling on floor....God Bless you Arfie, Leo, and Jan...Your Words Mean So Much to my brain....off to see my therapist later today and will be singing the praises of my DS supporters!

Not sure why people say that Arfie, perhaps it is a way to deflect their emotions of not dealing what you are going through. It sounds a bit like "moving along from that topic...what are the price of onions in Demark?" lol That is what my dear grandmother always said as conflict arrived in conversations to change the topic. It was only when my grandfather would argue politics with friends she would say this. Hug to you Arfie,,,ignore them, thats my advice :D

Nobody ever offered this consolation to the woefully underweight, rotten-toothed child I was. By the time I found my way to decent physical health, I was too easy to get rid of to have heard this consolation offered to me. I clam up and/or disappear long before platitude delivery time or any of its cousins arrive. I don't go to hardware stores for bread. In my strictly personal healing journey, I'm okay looking for sympathy in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. I view sympathy is a social ritual, not a healing agent.

Hubs and his family live by the consolation. They are devout blessing counters. Huntington's Disease and exploding gall bladders are only two of the problems I have watched them invalidate with the certainty that it could be worse. None of my business, of course, but I sure don't want to pass the tradition on to the next generation in my own family. Lucky(?) for my logic, the middle aged son who has fully embraced the philosophy is still a childless bachelor. The son who has a family of his own lost his faith in it after ignoring a toe injury in post-Katrina New Orleans netted him a case of gangrene.

I've yet to see a clinical trial/study whatever where it was proved it actually made anyone feel better to see someone who had it worse. But whoops forgot about my sisters who loved seeing me have it worse especially by their own efforts. And psychopaths of course. Only someone like that would find others misfortune made them feel good and you are far from that arfie. Honestly do they really think it through when they say stuff like that. Anyway for all the shit that happened you still turned out OK. And never boring lol

I was told it was for my own good...I used to believe that...I used to believe that.

As a child, it sure felt mean that folks were using my misery to comfort themselves. I am no longer that miserable, but. . . I still cannot find comfort in other people's misery. Seems like one of the meanest misery cycles in the human genome.

Gee. . . Why is there so much misery in the world? Are they selling other people's misery in the pharmacy yet?

"It could've been worse?" Yeah, that's just idiotic. And I like how you view sympathy, arfie. Just speaking for myself, empathy's where it's at. Sympathy is for the greeting card aisle in department stores.

I get pushed around by my family arfie your childhood must of been almost unbearable , I had sixof them they wherein prefect heath when they left home , I have no sympathy for parents who do that to there kids , there is so much misery in the world , that is why I helped kids in bad household, I fed kids that did not get enough, those kids are in my life today still , I just that kids did not suffer things like war no wonder they hate us . anyway hugs minnie

If seeing people in more dire circumstances than you helps you feel better, then you have more problems than X...is how I like to respond.

Most normal responses involve sympathy or empathy. Traumatised people tend to over empathise with the feelings of the victim or perceived victim in a situation. I've been known to completely over empathise with animals that I've perceived to be neglected. Transference or something. Never once made me feel better. Usually made me feel worse