Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Passive Aggressive Therapist & Me
Jimbobaronio
I saw a therapist and she was passive aggressive.
She was the third in this unending search for help.
We sit and she is barely looking at me because she keeps typing shit into her computer. She glances at me and then types. Glances back and then types some more.
She gets to the part in her computer about my Action Plan for my Anxiety and asks what my plan is.
I sit silently thinking to myself, "How do I get out of here without killing her."
I am confused about what to put on an action plan to get over my anxiety. Hence I am seeking help.
And then she smugly pipes up, "Well..., I could just write in here that you refuse to put a plan together and we could just talk the remainder of the time."
It was very condescending. She had a smug look. And a hint of smile in the corner of her mouth.
I asked her is she had experience with trauma. While looking at the computer she responds that she has been doing this for years.
What ever that means. She completely avoided answering my question.
I only saw her that one time. I made a second appointment and then in my own passive aggressive manner did not show up.
She left me a message that she was leaving that office and gave me the name of another therapist.
I am not going to call back. They don't have the experience at that place to help me.
I find it comical that my therapist was as passive aggressive as I am. Makes me wonder what her past trauma was.
She was the third in this unending search for help.
We sit and she is barely looking at me because she keeps typing shit into her computer. She glances at me and then types. Glances back and then types some more.
She gets to the part in her computer about my Action Plan for my Anxiety and asks what my plan is.
I sit silently thinking to myself, "How do I get out of here without killing her."
I am confused about what to put on an action plan to get over my anxiety. Hence I am seeking help.
And then she smugly pipes up, "Well..., I could just write in here that you refuse to put a plan together and we could just talk the remainder of the time."
It was very condescending. She had a smug look. And a hint of smile in the corner of her mouth.
I asked her is she had experience with trauma. While looking at the computer she responds that she has been doing this for years.
What ever that means. She completely avoided answering my question.
I only saw her that one time. I made a second appointment and then in my own passive aggressive manner did not show up.
She left me a message that she was leaving that office and gave me the name of another therapist.
I am not going to call back. They don't have the experience at that place to help me.
I find it comical that my therapist was as passive aggressive as I am. Makes me wonder what her past trauma was.
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Please don't give up on finding help. It's shocking how some therapists out there are beyond incompetent and actively destructive. But - I'm sure you've also seen people here talk about therapists who have been fantastic and life-altering. You tell "the universe" that you need and deserve one of those!
I finally found a therapist who was competent to help me with sexual abuse and trauma issues by calling RAINN. I'm in the US - there may be other groups in other countries.
You sure as hell do deserve a great therapist who is competent to help you with your traumas.
No passive-aggressive, just straightforward ACTION PLAN. Right outta the gate.
I have had a few duds along the way and ceased a friendship when a friend (who was a licensed psychologist) treated my PTSD dx as a sign of me being "weak". Wow. She worked for a VA hospital. WTH? I was like, "OK, y'know, I'm losing your number and e-mail, buh-bye...." Havne't missed her. Don't need her.
My own therapist came right on out and said about half if not more of the profession goes into it to figure out their OWN sh*t---and the rest are probably in denial!
Good luck, and don't give up. You can find someone who'll really HELP. If I could, anyone can!
We're the same age. In some ways, we've taken a similar fall in our lives. You have my sympathies. Truly. If Electro-Convulsive Therapy could rid me of the memories of who I once was, and how I once lived ... my present might be easier.
I'm guessing you'll understand that, even if you don't agree ;-)
I always try to keep my eye on the prize, though. If I'm going to a doctor or a counselor, it's because I need help.
I do my level best to be as easy for THEM to work with as possible.
While we can choose who we do or do not work with, and have the right to manage HOW we work with them ... sometimes we also have to be conscious about how WE present TO them.
It's a math equation, y'know ? Changing either side will change the outcome.
I think that's true of relationships of any kind.
I wish you all the best in finding somebody to work with and ... getting the benefits you seek.
And we all wonder why we can't get a doc or therapist!! Never mind someone who actually gives a shit.
I have been thru many docs and therapists trying to find help. It's not easy to find one that actually cares. Never mind one who listen to you and wants to help you.
I wish you the best of luck.,and I'll be here if you need to vent.
My therapist spent the first session asking some basic questions and typing stuff on his laptop. The thing was he was typing crazy fast all the while keeping eye contact with me. I told him it was a little freaky yet impressive.
I hope my comment isn't out of line but most of all I hope you find the right therapist for you. You deserve it.
Sarcasm aside, I had a kidney specialist talk to his computer instead of making eye contact with me and I fired him. If I wouldn't take that from a renal doctor, I'm certainly not one to take it from a therapist who is supposed to dialogue with me.
Punt this one. But like Donnawanda said, consider not quitting to search for a good one. It took me several, but I hit the jackpot when I finally got the right therapist. It made all the difference. He was a real PTSD specialist, an actual PhD in PTSD, not just someone with "years" on the job like your passive aggressive therapist said.
Plus, he cared. We also shared some spiritual points of view, which doesn't sound that relevant but it was. It had to do with finding ways to have faith in the world again, to find hope, that sort of thing.
So, like Donna said, hope you can take a break, then consider regrouping to press on and find the right one for you.