I think my default way of being was openness, but PTSD came at such an early age through family violence that being closed became survival. So I'd be open at school and shut down at home.

Being smart in my house was punished. I actually got a beating at home in high school for getting the lead part in the school play. My parents were mentally ill and used religious language to act out their insecurity again smart people. Being gifted was ungodly.

I'm a community college teacher now. I try to understand there are students who are bright in class but struggle with other influences outside of class. There's a tension between being open and being closed in many of us. I hope it's a creative tension, and try to let my students know that.

I like this topic a lot!

I would for sure say my perspective is wide open and I would for sure say I am a curious person. I use it a lot in my grounding toolbox as diffusion for sure. I will pick out art for instance and focus on the shape, color, how it makes me feel, the physical features and so on. I think too creativity comes in so many different forms and I like to see all the different kinds.

I'm open minded but I also tend to be a perfectionist. Sometimes if I feel something is unfinished or could have been done better I have to consciously not say anything.

HUGS Rizen! I did the coolest glass blowing course a couple of years ago and the biggest thing that taught me... work QUICKLY & close enough IS going to have to be GOOD enough, lol...

Molten Glass doesn't care about perfection it just wants to cool down & CHILL out, quite literally. I'd say I used to have that perfectionist drive too... but yeah now I follow the Pareto Principle... "80% of your results come from 20% of your effort!" It is weird how often that is quite accurate... : )

i once had someone ask me how i got so open minded. i replied that with all the experiences i've had i just can't be any other way. however the years have left me a bit jaded. i take pride in remaining open to experiencing, but i have developed a ton of strategies to keep people at bay so i don't get too attached too soon.

there is also the element in my awareness that throws people. i am often targeted by others who are not comfortable with my abilities to remain true- passionately true- to my fundamental values and faith and core identity while having no issue with if others disagree.

I was just talking to my hubby tonight about having a hard time communicating in an open way. I have a hard time just speaking my truth without agenda or an end result that I have to have from speaking. I have a hard time stopping and asking myself do I have to have it this way or am I open to other options. I know my husband feels railroaded because I approach him in a way that says body language and speaking YOU MUST DO WHAT I WANT!!! I would like to be more in tune with my own needs and doing more of my own self care and working on my thinking. It really bothers me when I see how closed minded and one-way about life. I think it bothers me to NOT be in control of what will happen more than I'd like to admit but then I miss out on the fun of letting my hubby do something with us or I'll send him with the kids and do my own thing. Anyway that was my relating to the open post. I'm not where I want to be but I'm also not where I use to be so it is a work in progress.

HUGS Heart... I think pain and trauma has a very closing in effect... and it sometimes feels VERY risky to open up... It's likely to set off all sorts of biochemical stress reactions for starters... cortisol release in particular!

I'm thinking that maybe baby steps might be a good idea... like just backing up to the less stressful bits and then gradually easing myself into some of the more sensitive bits!

Both myself and my little brother were very harshly punished for being "artistic" I was even accepted into a restricted entry art program in High School but... no... it wasn't "academic" and received the big, NO WAY sunshine lecture from all sides...

I tried sneaking tech drawing past as a compromise but no...

Physics, Chemistry, Stats, Calculus... instead... omg I was so lucky I loved those subjects anyway... Biology definitely not so much... ick, ick, ick...

The only non-academic subject I was allowed was History... from what I read... people really haven't learnt very much from it... hmmm! : )

If we are moving to the subject of being open to people, that's an entirely different monster as we were talking about in the communication post. I try very hard to be open with people and it is getting a wee better? here anyway. Though hyper vigilance is high and I do get scared.

BIG Hugs Dooo! cos the really POSITIVE thing I'm taking from this discussion is... sure dealing with people is eeeek... but life isn't just about PEOPLE... This little excerpt reminded me that there is so much more out there... to appreciate, enjoy, embrace...

I'm going to have to figure out where it came from... now THAT is bugging me... it was just a random word doc... on my laptop... bizarre, i always reference stuff... lol... okay apparently not always... lol

Cool found it... it's an excerpt from "The Big Five Personality Traits" Goldberg 1993...

Also found the questions that are used to score it...

Do you have a rich vocabulary?
Do you have a vivid imagination?
Do you have excellent ideas?
Are you quick to understand things?
Do you use difficult words?
Do you spend time reflecting on things?
Are you full of ideas?
Are you interested in abstractions?
Do you have a good imagination?
Do you find it easy to understand abstract ideas?

The questions are sprinkled though out a much large questionnaire and the last three are phrased in the negative but I changed them back to positive to keep things simpler, lol... It's a bit weird they ask the same sort of question using different phrasing but I'd guess that is to try and get a consistency score... plus it takes the number of questions up to ten which makes for easy scoring, rofl...

Must admit the scoring questions aren't what I'd expected... I thought they'd be more related to appreciating art, being generally happy... etc.

Well dang, I ingested an entire Oxford dictionary trying to get over my stutter so I;d argue that a large vocab, using difficult words and understanding difficult stuff is more about EDUCATION than built-in personality, lmao

I hope the doctors don't mess that up with the bipolar questionnare!!! JK

Well, I live hundreds of miles from my genetic fam for a reason. Openness was lethal around them---but I treasure it. Being closed can be safe, but it can also be suffocating. As muji said early on, it's a balancing act....

Good pondering material.