I deleted the comment. I'm still trying to understand why a group of people treated my anus and clitoris like a soccer ball without warning or mercy. They won't talk about it and I'm too traumatized to come near them, so all I can do is look at social media. It's strange how anti-rape activism may have led to a violent assault.

Are there no gray areas? Even if you say I was being sexual in my dancing, he's saying he has the right to refuse to dance with me, and I accepted that. Did he really have the right to assault me three months after I had ever interacted with him? Did he have the right to make me leave the dance studio and publicly damage my reputation and to use friends to bully me? Reverse the genders; I think a man with an erection sticking out would have been treated better than me. I was not even aroused; I can't even explain my fear feelings about the standing up position and how the hyperventilating was not exactly as obscene as it may have appeared. Basically, they wanted to maim me.

I hope none of my posts offend anyone. Thank you for putting up with me!

I should stay off social media for a while.

I logged off Facebook and I'm not logging back in for a while. Although I feel I was unjustly assaulted, I don't want to press charges and I just have to let go. I'm still living with physical effects that remind me of what happened. I don't want to start messaging these people; it won't help. I am logged out of social media right now. I think I'm having an anxiety attack

I don't think social media will get you what you want in the way of help at FB unless it's on a board that has empathy for the pain you are going through

Have you talked to a rape crisis centre about what you've been through?... Victims feeling shame unfortunately is too common when it comes to sexual assaults...

I doubt you will be the last of this mans victims though if he's using a studio to meet people to hurt

Big hug for you and a blessing... I am so sorry you went through such a horrible ordeal... I don't know your story but from what I am reading here this should have been someone you could trust....xo

Thank you so much suncloud! I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago.

I believe someone from the dance studio was sending me pornographic spam on social media for months and that didn't help me. I parked near the studio for a few minutes in January and two users with pictures of vaginas as profile pics almost immediately liked photos I had posted. But after that day, the "vagina spam" totally stopped. The captions usually read "come in!" We're they implying I was a slut or that I might as well be a guy since I was groin kicked??
Whoever was doing it drove me a little crazy.

ON the spam? THat showed uprandomly on a couple FB accounts of female friends of mine, so that may well have just been some random robot troll thing.

We all have our scars and fears, DSF, just work through it in therapy, okay? It's just not worth trying to deal with the peokple directly involved. You won't get validation or vindication. I've tried it in person, and I can't imagine Face ook is any better.

Big hugs of support. Slow breaths.

dsf95, It was terrible that you were assaulted in that way, I am so sorry, people who spam, bully, who make judgements, gossip, I hear you and it is not fair to you, but I agree with you about staying off social media and seeing a therapist. This world makes no sense to me sometimes...just know you are understood here and you are not alone. Trying to figure out why people behave badly...I have tried..anxiety, stress...I can understand why you feel that too, I would. Just let your feelings out here, vent, no apology needed. Sending Healing Hugs to you!!

Thank you Leo. I hope that's what the spam was. It didn't help what I was going through.

The DJ bagger is back at the store. It's nice to talk to him anyway.

I know I am having trauma feelings. I'm not even sure I was kicked; it could have been a fist even. Could a foot have targeted the parts like that? It's like being raped at high speed and your body absorbs that impact energy. But then it's just over. Sometimes I'll feel this scary feeling like someone is coming up behind me.

It bothers me that I stood silently in front of him for a long time, not asking for him to open the door. He had so much time to think and change his mind. I used to blame myself for going inside to see what he wanted, but I think once I was near him, he was going to assault me. His eyes were so scary.