Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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lilmissy7 10/07/2018

Just not doing so good today. Everyday is a battle, but today I just feel like I’m not okay

I know I mentioned in one of my last posts that it’s coming up on the season my ex tried to murder me. I honestly barely got away with my life literally breaking free & running block after block completely naked broken & bleeding (it was the only chance to slip away on survival mode) it’s such a long horrible story. One psychiatrists I told years ago about what happened looked shocked at the whole story & I said I know it’s like a horror film & he said yeah. Then being stalked & stalked. I’m sorry my heads all over the place, maybe I shouldn’t be writing this who knows anymore. I keep having flashbacks, I’m still waiting to see new doctor in my new area, it’s the 18th so close but so far but been off my pain meds for almost two months so the pains getting to me.

I started writing a journal about stuff in my past in a notebook the days that I can look down or use my hands for a little but I haven’t written them in the journal on DS cause its awful stuff & don’t want to hurt any of my DS friends if they see it (though they would probably be supportive) but still feel the need to protect people from that kind of violence & .... other bad stuff) But now that I started writing about it in this notebook I’m having more nightmares so I don’t know if I should stop or wait till if I can get a therapist. I also have a really hard time with therapy cause I have really bad trust issues. I’m also on a waiting list there might be a chance for me to get in a group for survivors of violence where I live now. ( even though I’m not sure if I feel like survivor cause I’m damaged) Maybe it’ll work out the group for survivors idk

Last night was so much pain & my jaw keeps locking & the popping stuff that aside from the pain makes it hard to eat or talk sometimes & yeah the other stuff that makes me feel prisoner in my body.

I will admit I had the thoughts last night like , should I just kill myself

but I promised myself always after my suicide attempt at 14 years old that I would never attempt it again & will stick to that promise

Sorry I hit the crisis button but I just feel very not okay & hopeless

silverlight 10/07/2018

Oh.... lilmissy

i am so sorry you are suffering so much...

i'm so glad you reached out to us.

i wish i could take all of your pain away....

You really truly ARE a Survivor.

And such a beautiful and gentle soul.

Always here for you.

Much Love & ((((( gentle hugs )))

arfie 10/07/2018

There are days when knowing I'm not okay is solid progress. Handicaps happen. Being as okay as possible with the handicap is the harder part of the battle for me.

Hugs and support while you ride out the season, Missy.

mujicaptsd 10/07/2018

Fear goes in seasons with us when we have a history of trauma with reminders to live through during the year, doesn't it, lilmiss? Thanks for putting it in such clear terms so we could come up along side of you with support.

lilmissy7 10/08/2018

Thank you for your support guys
My heads pretty messed up tonight but I’m trying my best
hugs <3

Aspieconfusion 10/08/2018

Hugs lilmissy. You can write what ever u want in your journals here on ds aslong as u use a tw then us as ur friends can decide if we read or not. It may hurt us that uve been through such terrible shit but we love you and want to be by your side and suppirt you through. Im so glad you reached out here atleast. You are deffinatly a survivour in my eyes.
Im sorry ur suffering in so much pyhiscal pain aswell as mental. I wish i could take some off your hands and suffer it for you.
Keep going your doing really well. Hugs.

Leo 10/08/2018

You're doing so much better than you know... and I give you puma power and purrs and hugs.

lilmissy7 10/08/2018

Thanks ((((Aspie)))) you are always so kind to me but I would never want you to take anything off my hands & suffer it, I know what you mean though cause I wish I could take stuff off your hands too.

Thank you ((((Leo))) that means a lot to me

Big hugs to everyone just tryin to make it through the day <3

Toughassteele 10/08/2018

Big hugs thinking of you. It's hard to live like that and I understand in ways. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much. Your your day gets better

SunCloudJD 10/08/2018

Gentle hug lil...… It's great that you recognize that a thought doesn't require an action

That's inspiring to me

I hope that you start to feel better soon......xo

lilmissy7 10/08/2018

Thank you guys so much
Hugs <3

momonthego2019 10/10/2018

I like the dictionary.com definition of survivor: "a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks." You are a survivor. You can't negate it. You are functioning whether you think you are functioning well or poorly, you are functioning. You are prospering even if you can't see it or feel it now, you are stronger today than you were in that previous season of your life. You will discover what works for you regarding channeling your pain. If journaling is causing you nightmares, than reduce your journaling or if you are going to journal, don't just journal about the incident, journal about your thoughts, feelings, pains, pleasures, each and every day. That way, a month or two from now, you can look back and read how much you have progressed instead of just reading about what has happened. You will get through this. Your story will help others. You made it because you were determined to live. Celebrate your inner strength each and everyday. I know what you have gone through may have broken parts of your body physically, but he did not break your spirit or your will to live. That is the most beautiful part of your story (that you are here to tell it). I pray God heals you from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. I pray God gives you rest and perfect peace.

lilmissy7 10/10/2018

Thank you so much

EvergreenDreamer 10/11/2018

Hello my friend. I am sorry i was not here the other night, but please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers and wishes.

That being said, pause for just a moment and imagine if none of us ever posted anything so that we could insure not hurting the people we care about here?

There would be no DS~

I agree with everything aspie said.
I know you have read several of my post that were about traumatic stuff, at a risk to your own well being, and when you did you conforted me greatly.

The biggest gift you can give your firends here at DS is to allow them to be there for you in the way that you are here for them.

Everyone of us is beneath a terrible burden of pain and emotions and tragedies of various makings, but also everyone of us brings to the table our empathy, our compassion, our strengths and knowledge, and even our laughter along with our tears.

Dear lilmissy, whenever the spirit moves you to write, to purge from your mind those traumatic moments that altered your life, into your journal here at DS, please do so and allow us to accept the gift of you as you always accept the gifts of us.

Put the TW and trust that we will either exercise good self care if we should not read it, or we will practice learning why we should exercise better self care if we read it when maybe we shouldnt have. This is a much safer place to learn and to grow into better self care than out in the world, for compassion lives here.

Triple hugs of support always for you, friend, and a whispered prayer or two in an angels ear for your healing journey~

lilmissy7 10/11/2018

Thank you ((((Evergreen))))) <3

mujicaptsd 10/11/2018

Sending you some more supportive vibes again for today, lilmiss.

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