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I've had many nightmares related to my PTSD.. that is sort of obvious I guess. A lot of people have them. but I'm really confused because mine become so odd..
When I first revealed to anyone that I was sexually and physically abused by my boyfriend, I was inpatient. It was the first time I talked about it. I immediately started having nightmares. I had nightmares before about him raping me or yelling at me or hitting me but NONE were as terrifying as these have become.
The first dream I had after beginning working on my trauma I was in the hospital still. It was that I had a daughter with my abuser... essentially, every time I looked away she looked more and more neglected, then more dirty, then ill, then she had a hole in her forehead, until eventually her face caved in and it looked like someone just punched her face until it wasn't even there...... but no one was there but me and I would NEVER hurt a poor child like that! It was terrifying. I felt so guilty because every time I looked back at her she was so much worse...
Since that dream, I've had the normal dreams that I would expect, but also have had horrible dreams about that little girl and also a little boy that I think was supposed to be her brother and they always die in a way that their face is injured.. I don't understand why these dreams have sprung up or why they feel so deeply related to him other than because they are his children..
If you have any ideas or insight I would really appreciate it. It's really, really bothering me.
When I first revealed to anyone that I was sexually and physically abused by my boyfriend, I was inpatient. It was the first time I talked about it. I immediately started having nightmares. I had nightmares before about him raping me or yelling at me or hitting me but NONE were as terrifying as these have become.
The first dream I had after beginning working on my trauma I was in the hospital still. It was that I had a daughter with my abuser... essentially, every time I looked away she looked more and more neglected, then more dirty, then ill, then she had a hole in her forehead, until eventually her face caved in and it looked like someone just punched her face until it wasn't even there...... but no one was there but me and I would NEVER hurt a poor child like that! It was terrifying. I felt so guilty because every time I looked back at her she was so much worse...
Since that dream, I've had the normal dreams that I would expect, but also have had horrible dreams about that little girl and also a little boy that I think was supposed to be her brother and they always die in a way that their face is injured.. I don't understand why these dreams have sprung up or why they feel so deeply related to him other than because they are his children..
If you have any ideas or insight I would really appreciate it. It's really, really bothering me.
Dreams are more metaphoric and emotional than logical. I've had dreams about saving kids from a gasoline fire even though I never did anything remotely like that.
I recommend empowering yourself by reprogramming your dreams; rework them after you wake up so you stop the abuse from happening.
I'll try that.. just rethink the dream basically?
My mom did this after having repeating nightmares of being hit by a truck and they stopped.
Question for rizen, how do you do that? Reprogram your dreams? I think I've heard of it before, but never knew how to do it.
Awesome advice but I don't have it yet... You have companionship on your quest! I will have to try rewriting them...!!!
That actually makes a lot of sense.. lately I feel like I have no where to go with what I feel. Like there's no where safe to turn and no one safe to talk to. I have two friends I believe I will love and cherish until I die, and I can't physically make myself talk to those girls because it's simply terrifying.. I need to feel safe and loved and okay and alright to talk about things that happened. I don't know how to do that.
Thank you by the way.
the other dream was of pristine forest i had a whilte horse and a lion
there where people there this dram was re dreamed until i was about fifty , i miss that dream i take seraquil to help keep me asleep at night or i well wake up every hour on the hour it help not to dream
music helps try no words it helps relax your mind dreamy type stuff like mosart ect sorry only thing that came to mind
He also asked if there was ever a time when I felt as though I was neglected or that I needed or wanted someone to take care of me but never had that fulfilled. The answer is a big fat YES. It's starting to make sense to me when thinking about all of the things together, considering that my mom was too ill to take care of me when I needed her, my dad wasn't around, I was being abused, and really there was no one to help me at a young age.
So... perhaps I feel like I was hit in the face, because I literally was and metaphorically I felt hurt by the lack of care I received, and I now feel a bit stuck there, I suppose.
Does that make any sense? He also said to work through the dream when I wake up.