JDM, I too was recently diagnosed with PTSD and I am doing some "grounding therapy" before beginning to do EMDR as she feels I am not able to handle all the trauma that will come from trying to heal.
Geez...I understand about wondering when the pain will stop and the happiness finally begin. All I can tell you is that through faith, I know I will get through this just like I did before, but this time I am going to seek understanding the emotions and dealing with them instead of dissociating. Just know that we care about you and want you to know that we will be here with you each step of the way!

I know this might not help, But thank you for knowing how I feel. The anger and the hatred and the bitterness, the feeling of dieing inside. I haven't been clincally diagnosed because the doctors just wanted to label me bipolar when I know i am not. I am always trying to be happy, but sometimes I jsut can't. I have had a love-hate relationship with god my whole life, and now I have come here because my faith has been failing me. For me I feel hopeless when my faith fails, I feel like if I can't turn to God, who then can I truly turn to? In figuring out for myself that i have PTSD, I have figured out that all the othr stuff stems from this. So, rather than looking at this new diagnosis as "on top" of everything else, perhaps consider that it has been causing everything else. Perhaps now, with the root problem uncovered the symptoms (all the other stuff) can actually be treated. I hope we can talk because you are the first person who I have heard feel my pain, who i see understanding what it is really like. I just try to go through the motions hoping that tomorrow's achievements will improve the burdens i carry. Big hugs to you because I feel your pain too.

Look at WebEMDR.com. It offers EMDR on-line. It's figured out how EMDR can be effective on-line using your own home computer. It's currently free. I assume it will require a fee sometime soon. It seems to be getting busy.

Well first let me tell you as I am sure you are learning YOU ARE NOT ALONE! :)

As for life I mean honey I had some nasty trauma over and over again from birth to 20 almost even a few guns held to my head and I got two great kids and a wonderful man whom I love and hen I look at them they remind me of the good and not the bad. This is just something you have to learn to do on your own. See the good in things and not the negative things. If you have someone to help it makes it easier. Someone to help you be positive in yourself and your life. I also was diagnosed a month ago and I have had it pretty much my whole life. I am only 23!

The first step is to accept what you've been told, gain information on it and inform yourself not just ways to help yourself but ways to make your life better. Bettering yourself helps a lot. I also recently started PTSD for dummies and its an awesome book.

If you ever need anyone let me know threw message I am still learning too but I would love to help out people as much as possible since giving makes us all feel better. :)

And I was scared at first I still kinda am but I am willing to try harder and make my life healthier not just for my family but most important myself.

We are our own worst enemy, remember this and remind your self of it daily. Think positive if you wanna be positive!

Good luck.

Since I started this discussion or whatever, I have been thinking, praying, meditating, praying and reflecting on life...Of course on 9/26 there was a major life changing crisis in my life and my mom's that just reaffirms my actions over the past few days.

You see, on the above date, my step father had a major stroke at 7:40 a.m. and prior to that (about 2 days prior), I have been at peace with everyone, everything, and myself. Yes, I still have PTSD and still have my up and down days emotionally, but the point is this: LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET OTHERS INFLUENCE YOU NEGATIVELY. WHO CARES IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU OR DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF LIFE? THAT IS THERE PROBLEM, NOT YOURS OR MINE. WE CAN BE THE BIGGER PERSON BY TREATING THEM WITH RESPECT--EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW THAT WE ARE DOING IT.

I asked the Lord to let me see my stepfather one more time before he passed...That happened on 9/26 (he's still alive), a prayer answered, and he doesn't know that I was up there,but this is why I am at peace! May we all strive for this in our lives and relationships! May the Lord be with you all!

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I, like you, still can never escape what has happened to me. Remember, it will get easier with time, and i'm not just saying that. I have hated and not trusted God, and also at times don't love myself. I would recommend going to therapy. It doesn't mean your weak or anything, I think it means you want to get better. Let me know if you need ANYTHING.

I'm in therapy with a new therapist as of last month. However, I have been in therapy for 20+ years...had soooo many therapists and meds that I cannot even count them...Is that a good thing? LOL!

READ, READ everything you can it will help you to understand --- that EMDR site helps.... you think about the evil and watch the little light... But for me .. and this is just for me.... IT has brought me closer to God then I have ever been.... people will side with the rapist pigs cause there human! God KNOWs THE TRUTH ...... AND THE BIBLE IS THE WAY TO GET THERE..

. DISSOCIATING IS A NORMAL RESPONSE to trauma!

BUT THE TRAUMA IS NOT HAPPENING SO THERE IS NO REASON TO DISSOCIATE.. WHITE LINE FEVER IS A SIMPLE EXAMPLE OF DISSOCIATING....

the problem with my situation is simple the bastards drugged me raped me more then once and now I feel my son is the target.. and I am not tolerating that... OH NO!

BUT IT Is getting easier only because, my priority is keeping my son safe.... not what the cops are doing cause there doing nothing! Just keeping my son safe...

I was diagnosed with PTSD twice... once at Chilton Hospital another with a specialist... and all these therapists ... are great but how about the politicians doing something about changing the law! How about that!