i went on a work trip to Vegas, and within a few hours of us arriving the whole mess came down. Thankfully we were a mile away locked down at another hotel on the Strip (not the one we were staying in, we were just having drinks). Even tho we were not at the concert venue, we had no idea what was going on for hours. We were told to run and hide and the sheer panic was overwhelming. 

The rest of the week was a roller coaster ride of emotions, trying to get out but we couldn't leave Vegas. I tried to work, but eventually emotionally collapsed. I had a flashback to a time in my childhood of sheer fear after a co worker melted down herself, I'm sure she was triggered to by the impact of that night and us trying to get home and trying to stay calm and strong the rest of the days til we could fly home.

i feel I'm double messed up, from the fear of the night of the shooting, and losing it after watching a co worker meltdown herself. I've worked so hard to get over my childhood trauma to have this now bring me to my knees.

im so sad and anxious. I made myself go to a Walmart to face my fear of being around crowds. My friend who used to work with PTSD vets when they would first return told me it would help me feel safe to ascertain the exits. I resigned my job bc I just can't have anything to do with the Vegas memories of last week or the coworker that inadvertently triggered me. 

The panic is abating but the anxiety is still present. Still trying to find physical help but it takes time to work out the details and get into consistent help- so I came here. Maybe I can help someone else too.