Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am new here and i need advice about how to help a new love with PTSD. (My post is a little long.)
I started a relationship with a man that is an old friend. I knew he was a Vetern but i didn't realize he had PTSD. I am learning all about it and how frustrating it is. There is so much overwhelming information out there that i have to take a break from time to time. I would like advice from anyone that is involved with PTSD.
I REALLY like this man, he has an AWESOME personality and is a constant joy to be around! We are old friends and just recently are now both single. We have always felt a connection towards each other and can finally act on it. We both accept each others crappy past experiences and relationships. Cloud 9 is so awesome!
Then PTSD rears its ugly head out of nowhere and i don't know who this man is! I don't understand if i triggered him, and how to help him. He is nothing like the man i adore, i feel like he has an evil twin. Thankfully he is not violent, just rude and mean. When he does return to himself again, he doesn't remember ANYTHING! He doesn't want to talk about what happened or his behavior. He is ashamed/embarrassed and i understand that is very hard for him. I am new to PTSD, i only know how to solve a problem by talking it out but he can't. So far i have failed at trying to understand him and how to help him. I've learned the hard way by failed attempts, this is not how he learns though. I don't want to constantly trigger him or make him feel bad! He can't remember or doesn't know how to tell me his triggers so i have to learn through my mistakes. We both want this relationship to work and we are willing to keep trying. We both have had many failed relationships. I trust him completely but he feels he can't trust me and thinks i am purposely upsetting him! I have a HUGE amount of patience and i am a super caring person towards him. He emotionally pushes me away but won't verbally telling me to leave. The plus to all this is that we don't live together, i have an escape for now. Its hard to figure out the Do's and Dont's without being around more often. But we do want to have a future! We both constantly worry about if I can handle the PTSD for the rest of our lives. I am a very strong (emotionally and mentally), independent and he is too!
I'm not giving up on what feels like the Love of my Life!!!!
What can i do to help him????
-
Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
-
Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
You have to not take him being mad personally and give him space when he needs it. Some days are just bad days when, based on my own experiences, he's going to be angry and that's that. Don't let him take it out on you of course by you have to accept you can't fix it.
It's hard to trust people when you're know people who have done horrible things. Don't take it personally; building trust takes a long time. Don't try to force it either.
Finally do what you need for yourself and have good boundaries. If he needs time away that's okay but it's not okay for him to abuse you, verbally or otherwise. I'm not saying he does or will. It's just a good thing to be aware of.
I opine that the best way you can help his is to get help for yourself. Even if you were the world's first perfect human on the day you met, PTSD is a bumpy ride for all persons involved and the patient cannot nurse loved ones and deal with his own psychosis simultaneously, not even the "perfect" loved ones.
In only 3 months time, i discovered my new love was a narcissist with Sociopath characteristics. I had to stop trying to help him for my own mental health. It hurt because i actually thought we were friends and he was being honest. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and i only disappointed myself. Thank you to everyone for the support. I wish it could of turned out differently.