Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,128 Members

27,617 Posts

0 Online

LucidSky 05/30/2018

Hello,

I'm brand new here and I don't really know how to start. Growing up my parents were very unsupportive. Constantly screaming and making me feel like everything I did was wrong. I started cutting myself when I was around 13, dropped out of school when I was 17, and got engaged to a horrible person when I was 18. That's really why I'm here. When I married my first husband I was so naive. He hit me, pulled my hair until my head was bruised, called me names, constantly accused me of cheating. I wasn't allowed to do anything without him. Somehow I managed to muster up the courage to ask for a divorce. Shortly after that, we met for drinks and he ended up beating me up one last time. He was arrested that night and I haven't spoken to him since.

I met my current husband about a month after that incident. We have been inseparable and I love him so much. We have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and we're a happy little family. For the most part at least.

I find myself reliving my past experiences with my ex all the time. Constantly telling myself that I hate my life and myself even though there's no reason to. I had an affair a year ago and it broke both mine and my husband's hearts. We managed to work past it, but I am still beating myself up about it everyday. I love my husband so much. There was no reason for me to cheat. I just kept going back to thoughts of my ex and feeling like I'm not worthy of real love.

I'm hoping to gain support from this group that I don't get from from my family and friends. I'm an alcoholic and trying to overcome that as well. I just want to be a good person so I don't cause anymore hurt. I desperately want to be better.

Thanks for reading.

CatinMichigan 05/30/2018

Have you ever been to therapy at all? Maybe that would help you heal. You should seek out a therapist who specializes in PTSD or trauma and if possible, addiction for your alcoholism. You may not find a good fit with a therapist right away, that may take some time and changing therapists if needed. Have you ever attended AA? That may help you if you truly want to quit drinking. If you drink every day, you may need to go through detox first though. If you feel like all of these things are too overwhelming, you may want to contact your local mental health agency for help in coordinating all the professionals you need to help you. At least you're reaching out by coming here to this support group. There are other support groups here through Daily Strength that you may also want to join. I hope that some of my ideas help you. I'm also sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Sincerely,

Catherine

LucidSky 05/30/2018

Thank you, Catherine.
I have been to therapy as well as couples counseling. I used to meditate and do yoga and that helped quite a bit. I'm so nervous about going to AA, but it would be a good idea.
Thanks for the advice and positive thoughts! I think this is a great first step for me. I'll continue to seek help and move forward.

Betteauroan 05/30/2018

Ask your therapist for Prolonged Exposure therapy. It's 10 sessions and it's hard. You keep talking about your ordeal until you can tell the story without getting emotional. I'm also in AA and am six months sober. You can do it. You have nothing to lose asking your therapist for a well-documented therapy for PTSD. I no longer think about my rapist, after being haunted by him for 21 years.

SimpsonsOK 05/30/2018

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, we become dysfunctional. We then have ourselves in trauma situations, like that early marriage to an abuser. I'm guessing that alcohol was active when the affair went on. It pushes good decisions aside and leads to acting out. That's where AA makes the difference. When you work a 12 step program there, it's not about the not drinking, it's about finding the new improved you, the real you that got lost along the way, and a way to forgive yourself. A warm welcome to this group. Thank you for sharing so much with us. We will be here for you along the way. Healing hugs.

LucidSky 05/30/2018

It took awhile for me to realize that my upbringing had a lot to do with why I made some bad decisions. I thought that it was just me being screw up. If it weren't for alcohol I don't think would have had that affair. I was drunk when I agreed to meet up with the guy and each time I saw him. You guys are right, AA would be the best thing for me.

I appreciate the support!

Join the Conversation