I posted support for someone else here who has spent a lot of time lately attending to the needs of others, and I realized I've done that a lot lately, too, and I need to face it.

Not that I've been any kind of superhero saint or martyr. I'm not dumb enough to try to play those roles. But there's been a lot of output for me without a balance of input. I had a ticket to go to a concert last week that would have given my spirit a break to receive some of the inspiration it needs. But I fell on the ice and was in the ER instead and the ticket went to waste. The good thing is that I have a ticket to a big concert later this month. Maybe that'll be the pick me up I need. I sure do need a pick me up right now.

Here's an example as to why: today after my death and dying class two students needed to talk about some heavy problems. One has a father who is a self-confessed sociopath, and she wanted to be heard about how that troubles her. She is a mature woman and brought the topic up to me very appropriately. She and her dad have had some real conversations about it, it's not just a matter of labeling him with an insult, and she's trying to find out how to have him in her life.

The other was a mom who has a grown son who is in a serial pattern of suicide attempts. She's in a tough place as to whether to let go or step in more. I didn't have the answer, but she needed to be heard.

I got from my classroom to my office, but then a foreign young woman was waiting for me there needing help. Since I grew up overseas, foreign students drop in when they get homesick or feel lost and need to talk. So we did. When we were finishing, an autistic fellow who comes to see me from time to time dropped in, so I didn't have a break then. A quick lunch and a meeting, then a colleague who had 3 year old die of cancer yesterday; we talked after work and she had a good cry.

That wasn't all of them today, but it paints the picture. And it's been that way every day for weeks now. Usually I take a weekend off and go to a concert or a game, but I haven't in too long.

I have to do some schoolwork, paperwork, tomorrow Saturday. Then on Sunday I speak at a church about coping with a loved one's cancer death. I have my talk written out. I gave it once before last December and it's fine, it's sincere, based on real experiences with it. I'm good with it.

The thing is that I'm just kind of depleted as to being the inspiring guy up in front of people giving the talk right now. I'd like for someone else to stand up and give the talk and for me to be sitting down in the audience for a change, receiving.

It's flattering to have people want for me to hear them out. I know. It's just that I'm feeling kind of burnt out temporarily, so I just would kind of like for the roles to be reversed for a little while, you know?