Gosh arfie, I would have to look up the labels...My mind doesn't think that way much. I get input from people on more than one level. So even if a face is happy, angry or sad...I see it as a mask at times to what is underneath. A mask to what they are really feeling. It has it's ups and downs, but I have seen anger mask pain too often. Pain such a strong emotion, like anxiety and fear...come at me like a sledge hammer. Happy seem minimum in comparison. I don't always approach those that have it, because knowing my reasons, I break down and cry before a word is said.

This is helping me accept that there may have been pain ,rage misplaced in some of the abusive treatment of me...small doses, step back, eval and either walk away or talk to them. Careful of the emotional and triggering impact of the reasons.

Going beyond just registering those feelings is new to me, I have more often retreated in these cases.More often hid in isolation, so theirs doesn't add to mine. Learning from here that those with those behaviors may have well been abused in some way not told or validated. Fierce on the outside...destroyed on the inside.

But interested in any input this thread receives, knowledge is power.

As a point I looked up " Narcissistic Mother"
http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

Since my mother passed in 1999, I have found it futile in reconciling any of her behavior toward me...but most of this fits. Though there are other components to the way I was treated. Things not included but maybe closer to the giving away of my body for her means? needs/wants..

I take that back it's touched on in #18.

I was raised with the adjective referring to mythology of Narcissus from ancient Greece. I love mythology and folklore! Narcissus is legend enough for multiple allusions. Mostly insulting...

Somehow I failed to notice when it became a noun. I am mostly playing etymologist. One of my favorite hobbies...

I know it is psychological label, cant talk on topic don't have personal experience

read about narcissus (mythology) long time ago

They suck the life outa ya

look up narcissism in the dictionary...find pic of me mum. :/

It took me close to 50 years to realize I was raised by one, and then married one as well.

In a nutshell, everything is about them and revolves around them. They lack empathy for anyone but themselves. They are very controlling, because in their minds, they are the final word or judge and jury, on any given subject.

It is extremely difficult to discuss anything with them, because they will turn it around, no matter what, to make it about them. Then you find yourself listening to their story, and what you were saying is completely forgotten. They are also completely unaware of the hurt, pain and isolation they cause others. It simply never occurs to them.

They are master manipulators....my ex use to brag about being one! He was very proud of that. He believes he was granted this "higher intelligence and power", that gave him the right to behave the way he did. I'm not kidding! He also drove me insane trying to convince me that God was always sending him special missons that only he could accomplish. Ugh triggers! Enough on that!

Suncloud said it very well....they suck the life out of you!

Cindysrain, how is it your know my parents so well?

You nailed it. Mine were religious hustlers, who made gods of themselves in front of crowds while claiming to be salespeople for God. Mine claimed to have God speak directly to them and so they spoke for God all of the time, with an air of authority total without self examination. God seemed to always send messages that favored them and didn't require sacrifice from them, but from others.

Sucked the life out of others, Sun, said. Yes, that's why my family never lived anywhere for more than 3 years, ever. They'd strip mine all of those around them for 3 years and then move on before paying the price when people caught on and got angry. Finally, after 30 years of this, their church authorities caught up with them and expelled them in a dramatic flame out.

Caught red handed and disciplined, they still blamed everyone but themselves. This even though people in on the hustle with them stood trial and went to prison and they themselves were deported as persona non grata from a foreign country that had had enough of them.

Lack of empathy, total self-permission to exploit others without remorse. Thousands of examples come to mind, some simply shocking, but generally that's it.

Suggest a read about Narcissistic Personalty Disorder. It is prevalent and it is a nightmare to deal with.

I'm impressed by its consistency.

Well Muji, we were clearly raised by similar personalities. It does seem a lot of them get invovled with religion, doesn't it?

I feel bad that others understand because they were somehow involved with a narc, but it's also comforting at the same time. If that makes any sense.

Oh yeaa! my dad has also been socio - pathic/psycho ddddddddddddddddd- Massive lots ....sorry going to sleep! typo!!
of scary mood swings. Extreme mood swings. hed be happy like high
hallucinated I'd see him. Since 5 yrs old on up to ages I tried to figure
him out.. ..its scary to see your abuser like....a 'non human' they act--
so critically and so demeaning ....they 'take in' all our power they can
get from you! or us.....I was calling my dad; 'father' for that reason. I

Okay, outside my apartment right now is either a wolf or a mad ....
because he is so cold and heartless.....one time I was 9 yrs old and I
our family (mom/ dad/ baby brother /me) went to some place. Years-
later I figured out - dad would on purpose/purposely have us all go a

trip or Church. When we'd get home of course our little puppy can't -
hold her bladder that long. Like we were gone 8-9 hours until night. I
will never forget that first time he (dad probably knew) a dog cannot
hold bladder/urine or....(opposite stuff (poo)...He yelled at our puppy.
He kicked her two times. Then made her /rubbed her nose in (the...)

I'm kind of worried here; The dog is either got rabies or its a wolf???
There are two cars parked with their lights on. Probably - for animal.
I don't hear any more barking. I pray that animal finds love affection
I am blacking out a lot recentl. I have fallen asleep four or five times
just writing this! .....Seen PCP doc today; ordre to see neurologist. I
always blackout while typing and in very fatigue/sleep state usually
as this morning i heard my phone which i keep near me at all times
I was coming to blurred vision so (couldn't read caller ID) then also-
then I had been holding onto my coffee with left hand to be able to I
maneuver laptop so i can drink it without reaching too far (.......pain)
I was on your post Jewells, I think 'ambi' --funny I am right handed!!
....so coming out of blurry......realized in my left hand coffee spilling.

I'm going out again. Ggrrr.....too many head injuries. (over 3 years)
now wheni come to; have to check all this as the mouse could have
went somewhere when i come to after the lblackout ...am dizzy and
both my hands will be actually on top of whole keyboard! ..........grrr

A science program I watched the other day said that 1 in 5 people qualify as sociopathic which of course narcissism is one type of.

I know, Cindysrain. It's odd to be comforted by that, but it truly is a comfort to me. I mean, knowing how awful narcissistic parents are, especially when they feed off of religion, I'm really sorry we have that experience in common. But since we do, I'm so glad we're talking about it. I seemed at times I would never, ever meet anyone who would understand, it was so nutty. Yet here we are talking. It's amazing.

Gizzy, looney, thanks for talking about it, too. One of the worst things narcissists did to me was to make me doubt my own sanity. That went on all the time. Socio-paths is right. Mine used the social group of the congregation and played them off us kids, even manipulating us from the pulpit during church services.

Nothing was sacred, and yet pretending to be holy was the game. Sad. Fortunately, I've gone on to find things that were dear to me, sacred even, and our respect for one another here in DS PTSD is one of those things for me.