There’s so much that I won’t say on this because I don’t think anything is anonymous.

but I hate PTSD

I don’t understand it

the more I seem to be doing right the more symptoms I have

I feel disconnected from myself and from my kids. It’s not even real that this is my life. I get that some of that is normal but looking at pictures of us together it’s like I’m wondering who they are. I look at myself in the pics and I know it’s me but I don’t recognize me.

Not sure that makes any sense.

misplaced a few things today. Found one in the strangest spot. Still haven’t found the other. 

Easily startled.

cant remember things I literally just did.

irritable

tired

sad

angry

my fuse is short and I’m an imploder....thoughts are ugly

I hate a lot of things 

but my 2 year old was singing baby shark while brushing her teeth and saying “I’m having fun!” over and over again. Then asking “mommy having fun?” “Bubba having fun?”

so there’s that. That was fun. That made life worth getting into. And then I lived the rest of the day and I am exhausted. I’m so so tired and I’m sick of so many things....

living space could be worse but it’s crazy

soon to be ex. Can’t even go there.....

sleep

asthma

triggering people

but I’m up for a promotion. Maybe I can move soon.